Rage at myself-how to handle it?

[Tala]

I need some help with my rage. I have rage at myself for something I did when I was 18 (I'm 35 now). I listened to the segment on Dustin's rage and was able to visual some of my other rages, but how do you deal with rage when you are your own target? Thank you.

 

[lazydaisy]

Hi Tala, I'm not sure really. But how about going back and imagining your current self yelling at your younger self?

 

[Ellen]

Hi Tala,

You might want to check out the sub-forum on Internal Family Systems/Parts Therapy. This is a self-help approach that facilitates resolving internal conflicts. There is a lot of good material on it there.

Also, I think practicing self-compassion would be helpful to you. I recently heard Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist who wrote Buddha's Brain, describe this step by step process for self compassion:

• remember a time when you were loved--by a person or a pet
• remember someone you feel compassion for
• sink into this experience of compassion
• then bring that sense of compassion to self; you can include a mantra like "may I feel better"

His techniques are based on neuroscience and how to change the way our brain is wired. This is something I need to work on also, so I'm going to be trying it too.

Best wishes to you....

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

There are lots of ways to handle rage at yourself. I think Ellen has a great key with self compassion. Instead of imagining your current self yelling at your past self -- imagine yourself and the memory your talking about right. Then imagine you are the older wiser self now and you float over into your imagination and forgive yourself then. Give your younger self a hug and see your younger self become happy and smile at you in relief. Only do this while relaxed and calm under a confident state ok. If you need more advice on this let me know and I can explain further if this doesn't make sense ok. Bless you