Questions regarding Self-Love.

[Layne]

So I've been listening to You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and something occurred to me. I have thought of this before but I never had a forum in which to ask the question, so I am asking here, seeing as many of you seem to be familiar with Louise Hay.

If we are perfect, if we are to love ourselves unconditionally, how would we ever improve? I think I'm being realistic when I recognize that I have faults and that these faults hurt others, and that I would want to change these things about myself. How am I supposed to love the "jerk Layne," or the "lying Layne?"

I am curious to know what more enlightened minds think about this.

 

[honeybear424]

Can't say I am a more enlightened mind, but here goes...

We all do the best we can with what we have at any given moment in time.

Also, remember that there is a little girl inside each of us who has repressed emotions, and that our subconscious minds rule much of what we do each day. It is imperative that we learn to be compassionate with ourselves. In doing so, we can finally learn to forgive ourselves our transgressions and truly love ALL of who we are. We are not here to be perfect.

 

[Forest]

One of the problems that I think TMSers struggle with is that we only view things in terms of black or white. We are either bad terrible human beings or perfect, good and loving. We cannot understand that there is grey in the world. Even more so, we cannot understand that negative events cannot be caused by any other reason than our own selfishness. What we need to understand, though, is that this just isn't the case.

Of course we all have faults we are human. The problem with TMSers is that we think we are the only ones with faults, and that every one else is perfect. It is important to understand that the outcome of events are caused by a variety of factors other than are own actions.

Don't ask yourself how are you going to love "the jerk". Instead ask yourself when are you going to stand up to your own inner bully? This is something that Alan Gordon explained beautifully in the first webinar.

By the way, I am learning a lot about addressing these topics by reading the new TMS book, Pathways to Pain Relief.

 

[Layne]

You guys are amazing, thank you so much.

Honeybear - Your mention of the little girl really resonated. And I understand. The "jerk Layne" is a hurt Layne. The "lying Layne" is a Layne who was probably punished severely for something long ago... Those parts of me that are icky, that I don't like, are the parts that need my love the most and as I give them love and space to be, they will resolve on their own.

Forest - I have started listening to the webinar and so far I like it! Thank you so much for the recommendation. I look forward to listening to the rest of it. And as far as my inner bully is concerned, that's a tough one... I still need to explore how my bully rears its head.