Questions and confusion of repressed emotions. Please help!

S

Serendipity

Newcomer
So one of my biggest issues with all this is that I don't feel that I have repressed emotions as such, infact it is quite the opposite I'm too emotional! I do have anxiety and depression, although I strongly feel that the depression is mostly due to the pain I have suffered with over the past 8 years. It has stopped my doing so many things and has ruined a large part of life. I am not saying that I don't have any undiscovered emotion or trauma as I don't know for sure and I did have a complicated childhood ect. However, I can't relate to those who say that they are 'copers' or repress their emotions generally or 'feel flat'. I am a very sensitive ad passionate person and I often feel everything and constantly want to talk about it to the point of annoyance. I do have lots of inner rage but I am aware of it I just don't know how to let go of it really.

I have noticed however that when I am feeling very anxious and emotionally unstable my symptons are almost non existant and when I finally pick myself up and feel better then that's when I flare up. Does anyone else experience this? My friend has told me that out bodys can become addicted to stress hormones and experuence withdrawals which I find interesting but I don't know how true this is and I am yet to look into it.

Please help?
 
Yes. I relate to every single sentence you wrote.
I am highly emotional. In fact, I would say I am a highly sensitive person. I cry almost every day about something. I cannot hold it back at work if something is going wrong and it's really embarrassing to me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I get very sad from just reading news stories.
BUT.. you said it yourself, you do have inner rage. Just because we're emotional doesn't mean that's the outlet for our rage in our unconscious. It's there and even though we talk about it our body is still trying to distract us with pain.
I think maybe we are so sensitive because our nervous systems are overly exerted. Once I started this TMS stuff and calming down (like the chatter in my brain, inner bullying, and slowing down), I had a work experience that was really intense and it was the first time I could hold back tears. I've heard people talk about being startled easily on here. That happens to me too. I think easing up and paying attention to our personalities will help us. Best wishes..
 
Ines said:
Yes. I relate to every single sentence you wrote.
I am highly emotional. In fact, I would say I am a highly sensitive person. I cry almost every day about something. I cannot hold it back at work if something is going wrong and it's really embarrassing to me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I get very sad from just reading news stories.
BUT.. you said it yourself, you do have inner rage. Just because we're emotional doesn't mean that's the outlet for our rage in our unconscious. It's there and even though we talk about it our body is still trying to distract us with pain.
I think maybe we are so sensitive because our nervous systems are overly exerted. Once I started this TMS stuff and calming down (like the chatter in my brain, inner bullying, and slowing down), I had a work experience that was really intense and it was the first time I could hold back tears. I've heard people talk about being startled easily on here. That happens to me too. I think easing up and paying attention to our personalities will help us. Best wishes..
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Hi Ines,

Thank you for replying. This is very helpful. I am wondering if i could ask you a few questions? Firstly, may ask what your symptons are? Mine are very wide spread within my body; chronic tension headache, muscle aching and tinglindlg sensations.
Secondly, do you also find that when you are particulary anxious or emotional your symptons subside?
 
Chronic migraines & headaches. 24/7.
My neck pain, asthma and allergies are now gone. I've been doing TMS for 5 months.
My migraines have gotten much better but I still deal with it daily.
When I'm anxious I am definitely in pain.
When I'm emotional it's always different. If I'm emotional because my husband and I had a fight then the headache will come later that day. If I'm emotional because of something like PMS then I will have a constant annoying headache. It's almost always there though so it's hard to tell.
Last week I did have a really obvious psychological trigger and woke up with a migraine the next morning.
I mostly notice that when I ease up on myself, stop the inner bully, stop picking myself apart in the mirror, stressing, worrying and start having fun my headache goes away.
This morning I was headache free all morning. I realized it when I was driving to work and just like that it started from the back of my head and now I have a headache. Just a dull one though. It's like a stubborn little devil that won't leave.
Is what you have fibromyalgia?
 
That does seem very similar to me. I have headaches 24/7 too, with blurred vision and light sensitivity. It started when I was 17, I started getting the blurred vision and dizziness in college lectures. These developed into tension headaches within a year and I have had them ever since (7 years). Within this time the tension moved down my back and then then into my arms and legs. I have had it all over for about 5 years. I have been told by doctors that I have Fibromyalgia but they never actually bothered to conduct any tests, they just couldn't find anything else. Thing with Fibro is that you are told you have it if your pain is wide spread and chronic, but not everyone seems to have the same symptons. For example, I work with a lady who claims she has it but she doesnt get the constant headaches and she is able to work full time unlike me. I am able to go to the gym and exercise still and she isn't. My symptons confuse me because they are not like regular muscle pain. It is a dull aching more like when you get the flu and sometimes I even think it is my nerves.

I started studying TMS a few months ago but I have had a hard time committing to it. One because I am like that anyway and I am skeptical and cynical bout most things. Also though because my symptons seem to be so unique to me. I am yet to find a person who gets the same type of symptons as me. I know we are not supposed to obsess about the specifics though! I just find it really hard not to but I guess that's why I have this :(
 
That sounds really painful. I'm sorry that you have to deal with it all over your body.
Have you read any of the TMS books? I liked Mindbody Prescription and the Great Pain Deception. Reading it really solidified it for me.
Have you checked out the Structured Educational Program? Here is a link to it.http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)
That helped me progress tremendously. I still deal with migraines and headaches but it's much better. I'm getting there.
Also, I had really bad neck pain because of the constant migraines. I'm betting you have the same thing. That went away and I didn't even realize it.
Regarding your symptoms being unique to you, that doesn't mean it is not TMS. Poke around on this forum and check out the success stories. There are amazing stories. I remember reading a post from a girl who's mouth would get really dry and she couldn't speak. That turned into anxiety in public. There is a whole array of varied symptoms and stories. Things I would have never thought of.
I know it's tough when it's all over your body and moves around. When people on here talk about back pain a part of me thinks they are lucky because at least their pain is in one spot and they know for sure it's TMS.
Seriously read those books though. If you have any doubts I'm sure they will go away. I'm betting you will relate to every page. Also, think back to your life around 17. What was happening? Did you have any stress? Deaths? Moving? New school? Life stress? Family stress? How was your childhood? Do you think there are things that are locked away in your unconscious that could be causing your brain to manifest into chronic pain? Now multiply that with your personality. Are you really nice? Do you avoid confrontation? Are you a perfectionist (doesn't have to be about everything. It could just be about few things)? Do you worry? Do you have any other weird symptoms like stomach issues, allergies, ringing in the ears? You don't have to answer but just ask yourself. Keep exploring this site, read those books and check out the Structured Educational Program. I'm sure you will see some improvements. You have nothing to lose.
 
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I have Mindy Body Prescription and Chronic Pain A Key To Recovery. The scond book you mention has been recommended to me, I hear it is good. Thanks for the link. I will check it out. I am glad to hear that you are making progress and things are getting better for you. I hope that they continue to :)

Yes I had a pretty bad childhood - a hell of a lot of emotional stress. I left that environment at 17 after I basically snapped and said I couldn't take anymore. I am a very obsessive, self critical, anxious person because of it, so yes I suppose on paper I do sort of fit the description. It's just really hard because my symptons are so strange and intense. Like you I envy those who have back pain and can read the one of the books and say 'wow that's exactly like my pain'. I must have TMS though. There is no other explanation and I have no more options to follow. I'm going to keep fighing on with all the stuff i'm doing.
 
Keep going. All this TMS stuff really does help. It's been baby steps but any progress is good. Keep us updated and good luck.
 
Serendipity said:
That does seem very similar to me. I have headaches 24/7 too, with blurred vision and light sensitivity. It started when I was 17, I started getting the blurred vision and dizziness in college lectures. These developed into tension headaches within a year and I have had them ever since (7 years). Within this time the tension moved down my back and then then into my arms and legs. I have had it all over for about 5 years. I have been told by doctors that I have Fibromyalgia but they never actually bothered to conduct any tests, they just couldn't find anything else. Thing with Fibro is that you are told you have it if your pain is wide spread and chronic, but not everyone seems to have the same symptons. For example, I work with a lady who claims she has it but she doesnt get the constant headaches and she is able to work full time unlike me. I am able to go to the gym and exercise still and she isn't. My symptons confuse me because they are not like regular muscle pain. It is a dull aching more like when you get the flu and sometimes I even think it is my nerves.

I started studying TMS a few months ago but I have had a hard time committing to it. One because I am like that anyway and I am skeptical and cynical bout most things. Also though because my symptons seem to be so unique to me. I am yet to find a person who gets the same type of symptons as me. I know we are not supposed to obsess about the specifics though! I just find it really hard not to but I guess that's why I have this :(
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The "flu aches"...oh yes.my most classic symptom! But wait, there's more... when those aches would settle in, I'd feel feverish, so I'd reach for the thermometer. And my temperature would actually be several degrees below normal. Isn't it fun?! I'm being sarcastic, of course. Usually when those symptoms start creeping up, I stop what I'm doing and either meditate or journal, and that helps. That particular symptom has always been the most disruptive.
 
Serendipity said:
So one of my biggest issues with all this is that I don't feel that I have repressed emotions as such, infact it is quite the opposite I'm too emotional! I do have anxiety and depression, although I strongly feel that the depression is mostly due to the pain I have suffered with over the past 8 years. It has stopped my doing so many things and has ruined a large part of life. I am not saying that I don't have any undiscovered emotion or trauma as I don't know for sure and I did have a complicated childhood ect. However, I can't relate to those who say that they are 'copers' or repress their emotions generally or 'feel flat'. I am a very sensitive ad passionate person and I often feel everything and constantly want to talk about it to the point of annoyance. I do have lots of inner rage but I am aware of it I just don't know how to let go of it really.

I have noticed however that when I am feeling very anxious and emotionally unstable my symptons are almost non existant and when I finally pick myself up and feel better then that's when I flare up. Does anyone else experience this? My friend has told me that out bodys can become addicted to stress hormones and experuence withdrawals which I find interesting but I don't know how true this is and I am yet to look into it.

Please help?
Click to expand...

I used to be highly emotional. almost explosive at times - until I decided to take my emotions under control. So I did and became emotionally flat. Debilitating migraines - gone, depression - gone, anxiety - gone. Instead, I got Complex Regional Pain Syndrome that ruined my life far beyond of what migraines-depression-anxiety trio had done before. After discovering Dr. Sarno 7 months ago, I see reduction in symptoms at about 30% and a return of emotions - somewhat. When anxiety returned, my symptoms were less. Now anxiety disappeared - symptoms are up. What I realized is that I had gotten very good at shoving my emotions under the rug - and I caught myself doing it when anxiety started showing up again. So, you are not alone and not as unique as you may think :=).
 
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