KevinB
Well known member
Yesterday's questions: What part of PPD do you think is frustrating or silly? Is there something about the theory you don't accept? What personality trait do you think makes you feel this way?
I guess the only thing I've still been struggling with concerning the diagnosis and the overall idea of PPD is that my very own brain creates physical pain in order to keep repressed "dangerous" emotions subdued. That is, it's frustrating that I have to struggle and retrain my very own brain, and that it takes time. I'd think because it's my body, my brain, I'd simply be able to say "OK, I see this is not structural, so I'll now face the emotions and get on with my life" and poof, the pain would disappear. In my case it seems that it'll take some time, likely because I have some childhood crap that I never dealt with, but the pain certainly has decreased since doing all the work here. It just seems odd to me sometimes that my mind would opt for physical pain over emotion pain, but as I've been reading, this has to do with protecting the "self", the ego, so the mind will do whatever it needs in order to protect that because the mind sees a threat to the ego the same as an outside physical threat to life.... so in that sense, I can better understand and accept it, but man, it is taking some serious unlearning of all the canonical medical indoctrinations we grow up with in today's society.
Anyhow, that's it for now. Just wanted to check in. On a positive note, I've been noticing that although the pain still slowly creeps in when walking/standing, it doesn't seem to bother me as much.....I notice it, but most of the time I can sorta ignore it, and not go into fear about it. So that is huge. I'd like to be 100% pain free and feel "loose" (I still feel "tight" in the low back area a lot of the times, like the muscles are still tight there), but as it states, it'll pass on its own time and I'll just be grateful that I'm improving in the now.
Buenas noches,
Kev
I guess the only thing I've still been struggling with concerning the diagnosis and the overall idea of PPD is that my very own brain creates physical pain in order to keep repressed "dangerous" emotions subdued. That is, it's frustrating that I have to struggle and retrain my very own brain, and that it takes time. I'd think because it's my body, my brain, I'd simply be able to say "OK, I see this is not structural, so I'll now face the emotions and get on with my life" and poof, the pain would disappear. In my case it seems that it'll take some time, likely because I have some childhood crap that I never dealt with, but the pain certainly has decreased since doing all the work here. It just seems odd to me sometimes that my mind would opt for physical pain over emotion pain, but as I've been reading, this has to do with protecting the "self", the ego, so the mind will do whatever it needs in order to protect that because the mind sees a threat to the ego the same as an outside physical threat to life.... so in that sense, I can better understand and accept it, but man, it is taking some serious unlearning of all the canonical medical indoctrinations we grow up with in today's society.
Anyhow, that's it for now. Just wanted to check in. On a positive note, I've been noticing that although the pain still slowly creeps in when walking/standing, it doesn't seem to bother me as much.....I notice it, but most of the time I can sorta ignore it, and not go into fear about it. So that is huge. I'd like to be 100% pain free and feel "loose" (I still feel "tight" in the low back area a lot of the times, like the muscles are still tight there), but as it states, it'll pass on its own time and I'll just be grateful that I'm improving in the now.
Buenas noches,
Kev
