"Have you been overly critical of yourself lately? How and why have you done this?"
I feel like for a long time I have set my bar high. I have always been impatient in anything I do, doesn't matter what it is, I have to go all out.
When I was about 19 (I'm 23 now) I made the concious decision that it was time to grow up, make a commitment to a qualification, make a good living, build a home and have a better relationship with my family, I almost wanted people to envy me, I suppose I thought it would make me feel good about myself. Now that I'm thinking about it, I developed more chronic symptoms around this time, symptoms that were harder to live with and sometimes put a stop to day to day life.
I don't know why I made the abrupt decision to grow up, I was a troubled teen, drinking, smoking and partying started when I was 14/15. I put my family through hell and I suppose that I thought I owed it to them, to be the person I knew and they knew I could be.
And that is what I did, I went all out. I did a 4 year qualification as a heavy duty mechanic, got myself a great paying job working away alot, pretty much stopped my social life in its tracks and saved all my money to start building a house.
Now I'm qualified, have a job my friends would kill for, house is weeks away from completion, I met an amazing girl. Life is good....yet I still can't relax, I stress about the future, the present, the past. Some night s I pace the house because I can't sit down and chill out and I don't know why.
This was suppose to be a question to ponder but it turned into a little bit of a life story haha. Feels good to get my thoughts out of my head though and make it that much more real for me knowing people might read it.
I feel like for a long time I have set my bar high. I have always been impatient in anything I do, doesn't matter what it is, I have to go all out.
When I was about 19 (I'm 23 now) I made the concious decision that it was time to grow up, make a commitment to a qualification, make a good living, build a home and have a better relationship with my family, I almost wanted people to envy me, I suppose I thought it would make me feel good about myself. Now that I'm thinking about it, I developed more chronic symptoms around this time, symptoms that were harder to live with and sometimes put a stop to day to day life.
I don't know why I made the abrupt decision to grow up, I was a troubled teen, drinking, smoking and partying started when I was 14/15. I put my family through hell and I suppose that I thought I owed it to them, to be the person I knew and they knew I could be.
And that is what I did, I went all out. I did a 4 year qualification as a heavy duty mechanic, got myself a great paying job working away alot, pretty much stopped my social life in its tracks and saved all my money to start building a house.
Now I'm qualified, have a job my friends would kill for, house is weeks away from completion, I met an amazing girl. Life is good....yet I still can't relax, I stress about the future, the present, the past. Some night s I pace the house because I can't sit down and chill out and I don't know why.
This was suppose to be a question to ponder but it turned into a little bit of a life story haha. Feels good to get my thoughts out of my head though and make it that much more real for me knowing people might read it.
