Day 12 Question To Ponder

[rowan51]

Question To Ponder
What is one of your best memories from your childhood?


During my middle and high school years, I remember things like:

• scoring 100 on math exams on my own
• playing with friends during breaks (games like salgu nori and gonggi, traditional Korean playground games)
• receiving awards for good academic performance

But I have almost no memories from before that period at all.

Is there any way to recover or bring back earlier childhood memories?

 

[Ellen]

Do you have photos from before middle school? Perhaps those will provoke some memories. Listening to music from a certain time takes me back. Also, smells that remind you of that time, such as cooking something you ate frequently as a child.

 

[rowan51]

Do you have photos from before middle school? Perhaps those will provoke some memories. Listening to music from a certain time takes me back. Also, smells that remind you of that time, such as cooking something you ate frequently as a child.

When I look at photos, I can remember that the event happened, but I can’t recall any of the specific details or circumstances...and I’m not sure whether I actually remember the event or whether I’m making up a story about it....

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

When I look at photos, I can remember that the event happened, but I can’t recall any of the specific details or circumstances...and I’m not sure whether I actually remember the event or whether I’m making up a story about it....

You're doing better than me as I can't really recall anything before the age of 11 (even seemingly traumatic things that happened I had to be told about by my family - I can't remember them at all - if I wasn't told about them I wouldn't have even have known they happened). I'm not sure how normal it is, just wanted to put that out there that you're not alone (and I might be even more blocked memory wise).

 

[rowan51]

You're doing better than me as I can't really recall anything before the age of 11 (even seemingly traumatic things that happened I had to be told about by my family - I can't remember them at all - if I wasn't told about them I wouldn't have even have known they happened). I'm not sure how normal it is, just wanted to put that out there that you're not alone (and I might be even more blocked memory wise).

I really appreciate your words and they’re very encouraging.
Have you ever had any memories come back through the Structured Educational Program or a similar process, after they had been forgotten?

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

I really appreciate your words and they’re very encouraging.
Have you ever had any memories come back through the Structured Educational Program or a similar process, after they had been forgotten?

Not really no! I didn't do the SEP in recovery but I did something similar and I did a lot of journalling.

I do consider myself quite fortunate in that nothing too traumatic happened to me before the age of 11, otherwise I think I'd remember it (or I would have found it through the journalling). In terms of the good moments, I guess it could be looked at as being a bit sad that I can't put myself back in those moments, but again I think I had it quite good so it was all pretty good overall (so nothing really stood out). I remember themes growing up (represented by things that happened over and over again - like maybe sibling arguments, the dynamic in the household etc. - having said that, even when I remember those things I can't remember any examples from before I was 11), but I don't remember specific events.

To give you a better idea, I know (I think is more accurate than "remember") that I had a birthday party at an indoor sports complex when I was I think 9 or 10, and I'm sure I enjoyed it, but I can't really say I remember it as I think I only know it happened either because I saw a photo of it (it's a specific photo I've seen a number of times) or my parents referenced it further down the line. I can't put myself there and I don't remember any specifics about the day. Another example, my sister would have dyed her hair blonde when she was a teenager (I might have been 10 or 11 when it happened) - I have no memories at all of her with her natural brunette colour before then - which is crazy to think about.

No worries - I thought it might help to hear it from someone who has recovered so you don't think it will necessarily be a roadblock

 

[rowan51]

Not really no! I didn't do the SEP in recovery but I did something similar and I did a lot of journalling.

I do consider myself quite fortunate in that nothing too traumatic happened to me before the age of 11, otherwise I think I'd remember it (or I would have found it through the journalling). In terms of the good moments, I guess it could be looked at as being a bit sad that I can't put myself back in those moments, but again I think I had it quite good so it was all pretty good overall (so nothing really stood out). I remember themes growing up (represented by things that happened over and over again - like maybe sibling arguments, the dynamic in the household etc. - having said that, even when I remember those things I can't remember any examples from before I was 11), but I don't remember specific events.

To give you a better idea, I know (I think is more accurate than "remember") that I had a birthday party at an indoor sports complex when I was I think 9 or 10, and I'm sure I enjoyed it, but I can't really say I remember it as I think I only know it happened either because I saw a photo of it (it's a specific photo I've seen a number of times) or my parents referenced it further down the line. I can't put myself there and I don't remember any specifics about the day. Another example, my sister would have dyed her hair blonde when she was a teenager (I might have been 10 or 11 when it happened) - I have no memories at all of her with her natural brunette colour before then - which is crazy to think about.

No worries - I thought it might help to hear it from someone who has recovered so you don't think it will necessarily be a roadblock

Thank you. Come to think of it, I think I'm pretty similar. I have vague memories of the overall atmosphere and family dynamics growing up, and there are also things I only know because my parents told me about them.

I also realized that the thought, "What if I can't remember?" was actually another form of anxiety that had been operating unconsciously. Hearing you say that it's okay has really put my mind at ease.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

I also realized that the thought, "What if I can't remember?" was actually another form of anxiety that had been operating unconsciously. Hearing you say that it's okay has really put my mind at ease.

Makes sense, and I'm very glad