Day 3 Question To Ponder

[jazzykat]

I have not exercised on a regular for many years – possibly as much as 14-16 years. The migraines started somewhere around the age of 40, but may not have affected me to the extent that I stopped exercising, until I was closer to 42. I do not remember exactly. I was in great condition at 40, working out, cycling, and taking a yoga class several times a week. That said, I have had issues with continued motivation with exercise throughout my life. Some event would derail me for years at a time and then I would get back to it. Migraines dominated my life for these years and the times I tried to exercise it either gave me a headache, or made the migraines worse.

The migraines are less frequent now, though I have developed other TMS issues to augment the remaining headaches; still, I have not been able to muster the mental or physical energy to resume a regular exercise program. I am in terrible physical condition now and it will be a long road back. I have very little muscle tone left and am 50 pounds, maybe more, overweight.

I live in the mountains and I occasionally go out and walk the dog which is good exercise for me, but I don’t do it consistently and each time I am clear with my husband that I am not making a commitment to do it on a regular basis.

I think I am reluctant to begin again because I assume I will fail, not follow through with it which means my character is flawed because I cannot commit to it and follow through. If I do not commit, I will not fail.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, jazzykat. Maybe you can try easing into exercise at home by going to Youtube and looking at some of the easy exercir videos.
I like the ones for seniors that involve sitting and/or standing. Try to walk your dog more often if you can, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Also, just move your arms and legs like an ape does... you give them stretching and moving motions that are good exercise.

You may be conditioning yourself to fearing pain if you exercise. A little at a time will help you get over that.

It's good that your migraines are less frequent. I see it as a sign that your TMS work is helping. Keep doing the SEProgram. It has helped me and a lot of others to lose our pain.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I think I am reluctant to begin again because I assume I will fail, not follow through with it which means my character is flawed because I cannot commit to it and follow throu

This is, of course, the classic basis for procrastination. Which creates a vicious cycle of self-criticism and eventually self - loathing. Been there, done that, still struggling with that one.

To do this work successfully, one of the first things you need to do is figure out how to love yourself. Only by truly loving and accepting yourself as you are, in all your imperfect glory, will you also accept that you deserve to recover!

I'm still a procrastinator, but I'm learning to ask for help. I've always been an avoider of exercise, so I have a walking buddy for Sunday mornings, and I have a personal trainer who I respect too much to cancel on. And no matter how much I feel like I don't want to go, I remind myself, out loud, how I always feel so good afterwards. And THAT is all about changing the negative self talk in your brain. Give it a try, it works!

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I think I am reluctant to begin again because I assume I will fail, not follow through with it which means my character is flawed because I cannot commit to it and follow through. If I do not commit, I will not fail.

Hi Jazzkat,

This part is good to see. You've clearly delineated a set of "Inner Critic Attacks."
"You are a failure."
"You won't follow through."
"You must follow through or else you are worthless."

And you can see the response to your fear of the inner judgements/attacks:

"If I do not commit, my Inner Critic cannot hurt me.'

This activity, to me, is the basis of TMS symptoms. How does the Inner Child feel in such an environment? Not good enough? Not helped? Rejected?

Then, what is the response of the Inner Child?
Fear?
Rage?
Sadness?
Loneliness?

I hope you observe this inner activity, that you are so aware of, and connect this to your symptoms. This basic approach was part of how I got out of pain. I observed and connected what I saw to Dr. Sarno's understanding. We can't kill off the Inner Critic, but we can understand where the pain is coming from, and this begins to undo TMS. In addition, we can help our Inner Child have a better home by disengaging from the Inner Critic...which as Jan says, takes time and practice.

Andy B.

Andy B.