Day 25 Question to Ponder - Talking to Parents

Last time I spoke to my parents it was at my brother's wedding last Saturday. Overall it went quite well, although my mum had been tense the whole week - for some reason. No one really knew why, although she managed to put on a happy face at the wedding (even though I knew she was in a negative mood).

I have four parents, as my parents have divorced and remarried. However, to be honest I don't really like talking to any of my parents that much. I don't mind talking to my dad, although I get disappointed because he often seems to want to cut the conversation short when things get deeper and more challenging. I feel that he sometimes "sweeps things under the rug".

However, recently I did ask my dad to tell me why he and my mum divorced all those years ago. It happened when I was five, so I didn't really know what was going on, as I was so young. My dad has kindly agreed to tell me about it, although I think he's a bit apprehensive. I also have some questions to ask about family history.

I don't really like talking to my mum. It's hard to get beyond small talk, and if I do then the conversation normally turns sour. I have to be careful what I talk about with my mum, so I don't tell her too much. I try to keep things short and sweet. She has a tendency to be very negative, always looking at the glass half empty. Not only that, she almost always tries to convince me to study a degree I don't like, or do something I don't want to do, which is really frustrating.

Anyway, I feel that living out of home has helped me improve my relationship with my parents overall. I have a pretty good relationship with my dad and stepmum now, although my relationship with my mum and stepdad is a bit distant. However, I try to still stay on good terms with them and do my best. I'm not really looking forward to Christmas, but I try to remind myself that it will be a relief once it's all over and done with!

 

Hi Laudisco,

It seems like you have recognised what feeds your TMS symptoms and you are doing a great job with cultivating the relationships, even though it's not the easiest of jobs.

It's difficult to change other peoples way of thinking and behaviour, but if we look inside and change - become more forgiving, accepting, loving and show more compassion this can reflect outwards and change how others perceive us and our relationships.

It appears you are making great progress, but do find an outlay to release any emotions that may surface as a result e.g journaling, meditation etc. Xmas is always a stressful time for us all, try and remain mindful and focus on the positive traits of your family, I know its tough and I struggle too, but breaking the cycle can help you be at peace and help you heal within.

God bless and have a wonderful day,

Mike

 

Great upbeat advice, Mike.

Yes, Christmas can bring on triggers to past repressed emotions.
I try to remember the warm and fuzzy ones, and there were those.

Even if we are only at peace with our parents, siblings, or others inside ourselves,
we win the battle of relationship problems. Kindness can be catching.
A hug can be worth a thousand words.

 

Thank you for the advice and encouragement Mike and Walt! It's much appreciated, because it's such a challenging time of year.