Answer
Good question! While reading it, I’m curious, however, as to what it is that you are referring that you are working to accept. In the TMS world, we encourage acceptance of pain/symptoms, and my hunch is that you are referring to just that. I’ll try my best to answer it specifically and then more broadly.
Regarding pain/symptoms: It is imperative to understand why acceptance is important to eventually become symptom free. When you are positive that your symptoms are TMS, it then becomes much easier to accept that you are in pain, but that pain is not indicative of something larger and scarier. The acceptance of your symptoms tells your brain that you are no longer frightened or worried by them. Your brain no longer sees a threat in the symptoms, and in turn, the symptoms reduce. The fear and preoccupation of your symptoms are keeping them alive. By accepting our symptoms, we understand that we know longer need to fear them.
This is an important idea: Acceptance means that fear is no longer present.
On a macro level, the Dali Llama accepts the reality of the Chinese occupation of Tibet. He does not fear or preoccupy about it. It is his lack of fear of the occupation that allows him to be present to many other things in his life. In this way, he can accept what is happening and still continue to work and hope for a better outcome.
Let’s talk about acceptance on a micro level: when you feel an itch, you have a desire to scratch it. Acceptance that the itch is there, but will go away (as they always do) yields an undisturbed mind free from the desire to scratch it. I wrote about this previously, so forgive me for reposting that section:
Next time you have an itch that you are consciously aware of – don’t scratch it. That’s right – don’t scratch it at all. Notice it, and then move on with whatever you’re doing. Don’t judge it – don’t think about it again, just observe it and move on. It’s harder than it sounds, but it’s possible. Do this every single time an itch shows up. Itches go away on their own (try it – they always do), but we’re unconsciously used to responding to an itch with a negative reaction:
“Let me scratch this immediately so the unpleasant feeling goes away as soon as possible.”
Okay, I know nobody consciously thinks like that, but that is exactly what is happening in your unconscious every time you scratch an itch.
Instead, we want to rewire your unconscious brain so that it says:
“I notice that I have an itch, but I am 100% positive that it will not last because all sensations (both positive and negative) go away, so I won’t spend my time, energy, and feelings responding to that itch.”
Think of acceptance as a mind at peace. Free from fear. We scratch an itch because we are fearful that it won’t go away. But it always does, because it has to. Change is the only constant in the world. It’s imperative to understand this to have a mind at peace. Everything changes. Everything. Accept that, and you’ll be a few steps closer to becoming a Buddha!
Any advice or information provided here does not and is not intended to be and should not be taken to constitute specific professional or psychological advice given to any group or individual. This general advice is provided with the guidance that any person who believes that they may be suffering from any medical, psychological, or mindbody condition should seek professional advice from a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions. No general advice provided here should be taken to replace or in any way contradict advice provided by a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions.
The general advice and information provided in this format is for informational purposes only and cannot serve as a way to screen for, identify, or diagnose depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions. If you feel you may be suffering from any of these conditions please contact a licensed mental health practitioner for an in-person consultation.
Questions may be edited for brevity and/or readability.
