Question concerning past traumatic events

[Imagyx]

Hi.

I have a question about past traumatic events, that almost everyone's post
contains. I found many of them dead-on for me as well.
My problem is that I'm aware of them already while everbody else here seems
to have just recently found out about them and got a relief afterwards.
In retrospect I think of my childhood as if I never had one really, because I was
really busy with housework - even unnecessary one - my mother couldn't do because
of her own disease.
But I know that consciously... maybe one of the next days in the EDP brings more to the surface.
Until then I'd be glad to hear of similar experiences I haven't read about yet and possible solutions.
Thanks for sharing and helping.

Chris

 

[Beach-Girl]

Hi Chris:

I too thought I knew the one thing from my childhood that was making me angry. Something I had accepted, but not really dealt with yet. Turned out there were many things from my childhood and early adulthood I'd left out when I did the SEP. I also have a life that is pretty stress filled. Once things "calm down" and I can go back and explore some of these other events and personality issues, I think I'll be further along in my progress.

I guess what I'm saying is, just because you know what it was about your non-childhood (and you're most likely right) there could be other incidents or characteristics you have as a result of how you were treated. And those may not have come up for you yet.

Be kind to yourself, be open to the SEP as you move through it, and keep an open mind. I'm sure you too will make more discoveries and find your way back to a pain free life.

BG

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi Chris:

The key is not so much the events themselves, but awareness of how those events shaped your adult responses to current stresses and relationships. Those responses are part of who you are, they aren't going to go away, but they are quite probably responsible for your symptoms, so that's what you want to look at.

You might be interested in this discussion started by author Steve Ozanich

Or this short discussion started by another member, who was asking about his knowledge of past events and how it relates to current pain.

Keep posting, let us know how it goes!

Jan

 

[Imagyx]

Thanks a lot Jan.

These posts help me very much.
They give me some insight I missed before.
I'm not too lazy to search the forum for answers, but I very much appreciate
being given links to posts that you think work for me.

If you are digging up some pain in your past that's fine, do it, but beware of psycho-archeology. Don't keep digging for gold in an empty tomb. I've seen therapists keep people crying for months digging up their past, picking at the same things repeatedly. There's a time to dig and a time to put the shovel down and bask in the sunlight, thankful there is work to do, and problems--that really aren't that bad.

Steven's opinion makes sense to me.
I just know something in the past is really painful for my mind to accept and when I tried
to remember how I felt those days I'm totally blocked.
I can't see anything when I close my eyes. I remember only a few things from my live
before the age of ten or twelve. Even later in my live there's a lot of emptyness in my mind
when I try to think about it for the SEP.
I think I avoid that and the "tomb" is not empty, I just cannot find the entrance.

What CAN change is the adult's awareness, acceptance, and ability to move beyond the gut response.

I'm working on my awareness.
I'll start my day 6 of the SEP now.

Chris

 

[JanAtheCPA]

One thing that I discovered in doing the program is that in the process of making lists and journaling, I might suddenly think of something - an event, or an interaction from the past - and I would find myself immediately thinking: "Oh, that's not important, don't write that down". I decided to write those things down anyway - and I was surprised, when examining each one more closely, that many of these things did indeed hold significance because of the way I reacted to them, and I ended up with several insights that I would never have achieved if I had believed that they were too silly to put down.

I realized that this was my brain trying to hide things that ARE important, even though, on the surface, the thing seems really small or insignificant. One way we "beat up" on ourselves is by believing that we shouldn't be so sensitive, or shouldn't react a certain way - but those reactions are the hidden keys to who we are and why we hurt.

So I'm saying: write down EVERYTHING that pops into your mind, no matter what it is. See what happens.

Jan

 

[Lori]

Jan, good point and I agree. If something comes to mind, it's important or at least bothersome to some extent. At which point I'd journal about it.
I can say things came to mind from the past as I journaled as well, even things I hadn't thought about in many many years. After some work I felt more acceptance of past situations--which is easy to say but much more difficult to do (acceptance).

There are likely things in everyone's past from childhood (otherwise Dr. Sarno wouldn't say 1/3 is childhood issues in TMS cases). Some come to mind later vs. sooner. And that's ok! I do think it's important to address though, as issues we face or find bothersome now are frequently rooted in childhood. Once addressed, the cascade can stop and our adult lives can change for the better.