Question about Repression.

[Huckleberry]

I'm a little confused about the concept of repression and how this relates to TMS and pain.

I am well aware that I am an angry and probably quite a bitter person and don't actually feel that I repress my anger...if I'm out with my wife and I get agitated by other people, annoying circumstance etc etc I quite often lose my temper or express my anger to my wife...I know I do this as my wife can actually get quite embarrased about it and she often says she can almost feel the anger in me in certain situations. She has also said that at times it can be like walking on eggshells around me as I can anger about quite trivial things so easily.

Now, I'm pretty convinced by Sarno's thesis that much of TMS pain relates to repressed anger but what does it actually mean to repress anger? I did read once that Monte Hueftle mentioned that an act such as slamming a door in anger did not express anger correctly and that this was like a get out of jail card for feeling the anger. i am just trying to tie this in with me and how I deal with and express anger. If something angers me and I fly off the handle and get myself worked up (which is probably my default response) I'm assuming this is wrong but then surely if something angers me and I just smile to myself and think oh just let it go surely that is the very definition of repression. In short, when I'm angry what do I do? What is the correct response to the anger?

 

[Huckleberry]

Anybody?

I realised that this might have been a good question to put to the ask a TMS therapist facility...is it to late to do this now or can I do it retrospectively?

 

[Hamilton]

Anybody?

I realised that this might have been a good question to put to the ask a TMS therapist facility...is it to late to do this now or can I do it retrospectively?

I have the same issue. I'm interested in any responses. I'm sure it's OK to re-ask your qustion to a therapist.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Huckleberry, it's definitely not too late to ask a TMS therapist about why repressed emotions cause TMS pain.
It's an excellent question and we can all benefit from knowing about it. Here's the link to it:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/forms/ask-a-tms-therapist.1/respond

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Huck, Berry good question on confusion, and I assume that's why you reached with the question on repression, but no worries, hakuna matata. I openly stated in GPD that I didn't get it ether. It's a fundamental understanding of the varying levels of consciousness, at any one time. Id vs. Superego in mortal combat. If superego controls the entire message, people think that they're who they're' pretending to be. This is a huge problem in healing

Slamming doors and telling people off is only scratching the surface of expressing anger. These things are like pulling the trigger back on a gun: warnings of the explosive potential available. We all have the potential of the full spectrum of light and dark. That includes the most beautiful and heinous things possible.

I've written in great detail on anger, not worth going into how to express it here. But just know this, you are in no way expressing your deepest fury with tiny outbursts. There's much more to your rage than what you can sense, or see yourself as. To quote the good doctor, "Any anger that you feel has nothing to do with your TMS."

SO

 

[Huckleberry]

Thanks for the reply Steve...appreciate you taking the time.

I understand that the anger we show externally is the tip of a very big iceberg. If our everyday anger outbursts are merely cocking the trigger of the anger gun where does this leave us then? I suppose what I'm trying to understand is in a pragmatic day to day sense how do I not repress anger? I did read GPD literally when it first came out so I may well go back to it...I can't really recall but do you go into the idea of how we should express anger correctly in there?

 

[Ellen]

Thanks for the reply Steve...appreciate you taking the time.

I understand that the anger we show externally is the tip of a very big iceberg. If our everyday anger outbursts are merely cocking the trigger of the anger gun where does this leave us then? I suppose what I'm trying to understand is in a pragmatic day to day sense how do I not repress anger? I did read GPD literally when it first came out so I may well go back to it...I can't really recall but do you go into the idea of how we should express anger correctly in there?

Hi Huckleberry,
I don't know if you've listened to the book discussions with Nicole Sachs, but she addresses this issue in one of them. She emphasizes that one doesn't have to express or demonstrate anger to not be repressing it, you just need to be aware of your feelings and feel them. It can be, and is usually best, that it be an internal experience.

I think, for me, when I started learning about TMS, one of my first discoveries was that what I thought was making me anger, wasn't the real, underlying cause of my anger. The day to day things were just triggers that activated old wounds, old sources of anger that I had repressed as a child in order to stay safe. The journaling exercises in Unlearn Your Pain helped me uncover these. There are, of course, other journaling methods, and some people are able to uncover these emotions without journaling.

I look forward to reading Steve O's response...

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I did such a good job of repressing my anger from childhood traumas that I thought I had a happy childhood.
It was in parts at times, but underneath was a volcano of anger, of feeling deprived. I thought most kids were going
through the same things I was. Maybe they were and were repressing their anger. Anyway, it was a revelation for me
to discover through journaling what I was really feeling back then and that led me to better understanding and
that led to forgiving. I do believe I was able to unlearn my pain.