Pudendal / pelvic pain recoverees

[riverrat]

Hi everyone
I guess I'm still stuck in fear as my pain is still present. I fear pudendal nerve issues even though i was not given that diagnosis. I've had pelvic exams and nothing was found, pelvic floor therapy showed tight muscles. PT did not help. A couple things that Do help me try to stay away from that possible diagnosis is that my pain is much more tolerable of i sit. Standing is my trigger. PN is suppose to have much difficulty and pain with sitting. So that's opposite of me. My symptoms also did not come on after injury or surgery. It came on after tremendous emotional upset and stress. Terminal illness on family and caring for that person and then legal issues. Just feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

My logical self knows it's emotionally caused, and not physical. But after a year of mind work including journaling, i still hate my life from all the pain that controls my thoughts. I can handle pain other areas of my body, but I can't handle this pelvic floor pain, and don't know what else to do.

i admit to having a very fearful outlook towards the pain, but I'm struggling to break that. I fear alot in life.
And logicalky i know PN is unlikely,I just fear nerve damage because it just hurts so much. And I need someone to convince me it's just tight muscles from tms or from my over stimulated stressed nervous system. And logicalky, i also know PN may very well be and probably is nothing more than TMS anyway! Yet I fear it!

I go up and down with pain. It's always there, but it fluctuates based on emotions. I felt like I was moving forward some but after a horrible several months of legal issues, the man who has done what he's done to our family and should be in jail was found not guilty in court 2 weeks ago. Needless to say my pain is worse!

I've just started the askok amygala retraining course. His explanation of how our brain works makes perfect sense to me in my situation of how this all came on. I've Only just started the exercises, and need to give it time, but I'm still searching for someone to tell me that they had this and that i don't have PN and when life calms Down as im trying to make happen, my mind and body will simply heal.

Thanks for any thoughts.

 

[Jason32]

Well the good thing is yours didn't start with an injury, unlike me. So there's no plausible reason for you to have this problem. Interestingly enough the main rectal symptoms I get are the same as you- it hurts to stand and walk but not to sit. I get other types of pain from sitting but its not as bad. So I was told my pudendal nerve was being irritated (since thats the nerve for the rectum) but that I didn't have PNE because I wouldn't be able to sit without unbearable pain.

Curious, did your PT say you were misaligned? I was told I had tight muscles by two PT's but both of them also told me my sacrum and coccyx were misaligned. I still have a hard time accepting the TMS diagnosis considering I did have an injury to that area. But how do I know I haven't always been that way? Some Doctors tell me its normal.

I don't know if PT would work or not- I'm afraid to do it as basically what they're suggesting is like chiropractic manipulation. I don't want to get worse! There's a lot of evidence it could be TMS but also some evidence its not. I'm starting to reach the point of apathy- I've given up on researching or trying to find any answers because there are none. There could be a lot of different reasons causing the pain, but no two health professionals can really agree on the cause and these pelvic conditions don't really have any good treatments anyway. Reading Pudendalhope or Spine Health would give me an anxiety attack seeing the horror stories.

Ezer is the only one I know who overcame this condition with mind body work.

 

[Tennis Tom]

...I need someone to convince me it's just tight muscles from tms or from my over stimulated stressed nervous system. And logicalky, i also know PN may very well be and probably is nothing more than TMS anyway! Yet I fear it!

https://abigailsteidley.com/about/ (About Abigail - Abigail Steidley)


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About Abigail

Let’s just say it. My early twenties sucked. Case in point: me, lying naked on the exam table, feet in stirrups, impossibly tiny cover-up draped over me, with yet another doctor probing my personal regions. Snapping the rubber gloves as he pulled them off, the doc popped his head up between my knees.

“Your pelvic floor is a disaster,” he said. Direct quote.

As a young woman, fresh out of college, I had never even considered my pelvic floor. I actually had no idea what that was.

“You have pelvic floor dysfunction, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, and vulvar dysesthesia,” he continued. “We’ll start you on physical therapy and some anti-depressants. Oh, and a steroid.”

“Why did I get these syndromes?” I asked.

He shrugged. “We don’t really know why they occur.”

I swallowed, looking for courage before I spoke.

“Um…also, I’m really depressed. I’ve been feeling pretty hopeless lately. Actually, I’ve had a lot of panic, too.” (This was nice-speak for I am so f-ing tired of being in this much pain and my life is ruined and I can’t take it anymore, seriously, seriously, seriously! HELP ME!)

“Oh, don’t worry. The anti-depressant will help that,” he responded. And with that, we were done.

This was the one appointment I’d been hanging all my hopes on, waiting for with bated breath, as if simply walking through the door would bring relief. After years of suffering from interstitial cystitis and now months and months of vaginal pain on top of that, I was at my limit. It hurt to wear underwear, to sit, to walk, and to do anything that involved me moving my body at all.

I came home, laid down on my couch, and succumbed to deep, dark, despair. I felt lost. Alone. Hopeless. If the doctor didn’t know why I had these syndromes, how would I heal? It seemed like so many pieces of the puzzle were missing. I needed guidance. Support. Kindness.

When I went to my first physical therapy appointment, my physical therapist handed me a business card.

“This is a woman who teaches relaxation techniques and deep breathing,” she explained. “It might help you relax these pelvic muscles.”

I took the card, grateful for any suggestions. At this point, the medications had shown no signs of helping, and the doctor didn’t have answers.

At my first breathing lesson, I learned about a million things about myself. At my first breathing lesson, I found the compassion, the kindness, the hope, and the connection I needed to see my healing process from a new light. I’d found a healer; someone who could help me connect mind, body, and spirit and understand what imbalances were asking for attention.

And thus my mind-body healing journey began. I dove in, excited to understand how I’d been locked in mental patterns that caused me to live in a constant state of stress. This created tension in my body, and most of that was in my pelvic floor muscles. I spent most of every day being incredibly hard on myself, criticizing myself, trying to be better, do more, achieve more, be skinnier, and generally be someone other than myself.

I started to see how this pain syndrome had evolved. I started to see how I could create well-being. It was my new passion: mind-body healing.

But it was SO MUCH BIGGER than just health. It was freedom from mental self-torture. It was connection to inner wisdom. It was confidence. It was creativity. It was being aligned with my true nature and feeling spiritual connection and guidance in my daily life.

In 2008, I trained as a Life Coach with Martha Beck. I wanted to help others on this healing journey, and provide the kindness, the support, the coaching, the connection, and the tools that I’d found so immensely helpful. I figured that my story – healing from that wide variety of “chronic” pelvic pain syndromes using mind-body healing – could bring hope, help, and well-being to others. It was the most fulfilling work I could have ever imagined.

In 2010, I begin training other coaches in the mind-body tools, and in 2011 Mind-Body Coach University was born. It was increasingly hard to be of service to the many people who wanted mind-body coaching, so the coaches who took my training could also help those people seeking mind-body healing.

Now, I’ve created the Kindness Community to serve as a supportive place where you can come to feel connection, get coached, hear the wisdom your body is sharing, and discover kindness. You, too, can find the freedom in letting go of the old patterns that create constant self-judgment, stress, physical pain, illness, and a sense of disconnection from others and spirit. If you’re wondering if the community is for you, check out the Is This You? page.

What do I do, exactly? I see your energy in your body. I see where your old mental stress patterns are creating blocks to complete health, and I coach you around releasing them and allowing emotional energy to flow. This allows you to connect to your inner wisdom and begin trusting yourself. You hear the wisdom your body is sharing. You become an even more effective coach/healer, or you become ready to begin doing your work in the world.

In my thirties, I’m now a mom, an Irish fiddler (aka recovering classical violinist), a coach, a coach mentor, a seer, a healer, and a woman who is passionately dedicated to kindness: for me, and for others. It’s the secret to my well-being, and whenever I forget it, my body lets me know. Thankfully, I’m getting better and better at remembering. Kindness is the path.

==================

“Abigail Steidley is a good coach for bad times. Her coaching can make your life better no matter what your circumstances, but when things get tough she is really in her element. Her ability to forge and strengthen mind-body-spirit connections for her clients make her a safe haven in life’s stormy times. Abigail’s kindness, her wit, her intelligence, and her determination are formidable allies for her clients.”

– Martha Beck

 

[riverrat]

Well the good thing is yours didn't start with an injury, unlike me. So there's no plausible reason for you to have this problem. Interestingly enough the main rectal symptoms I get are the same as you- it hurts to stand and walk but not to sit. I get other types of pain from sitting but its not as bad. So I was told my pudendal nerve was being irritated (since thats the nerve for the rectum) but that I didn't have PNE because I wouldn't be able to sit without unbearable pain.

Curious, did your PT say you were misaligned? I was told I had tight muscles by two PT's but both of them also told me my sacrum and coccyx were misaligned. I still have a hard time accepting the TMS diagnosis considering I did have an injury to that area. But how do I know I haven't always been that way? Some Doctors tell me its normal.

I don't know if PT would work or not- I'm afraid to do it as basically what they're suggesting is like chiropractic manipulation. I don't want to get worse! There's a lot of evidence it could be TMS but also some evidence its not. I'm starting to reach the point of apathy- I've given up on researching or trying to find any answers because there are none. There could be a lot of different reasons causing the pain, but no two health professionals can really agree on the cause and these pelvic conditions don't really have any good treatments anyway. Reading Pudendalhope or Spine Health would give me an anxiety attack seeing the horror stories.

Ezer is the only one I know who overcame this condition with mind body work.[/QUOTE

Jason32,
How did your symptoms start, and I'm curious what pain ( areas) you struggle with? Even if it started after injury, tms uses injuries to get our attention often, right? I don't think it means you have an injury that won't heal. I'm glad you were told you don't have PN!

I had something very similar in 2005 for 3 years and got 90% -95% better until it's return in 2014. I thought I was getting a little better again then last last week ugh, a mess again. And the burning and stabbing pain is taking over really bad again. But again, it occurred ( increased) after emotionally upsetting news last Monday. I think I just wish I could understand what causing it physically? Can tight pelvic floor muscles really cause THIS much pain? Do I have infection that none ever finds? Is it nerve damage? Why am I so scared of the pain and unable to simply forget about it? I stay very busy working full time, tons of activities with my kids, helping my mom. So I try to keep living my life and not think about it, but the pain consumes my thoughts so much.

Medically it just doesn't seem logical to seek out answers or tests as I did years ago and got nowhere! Plus they are invasive and hurt more! I got exams and tests last May and they found nothing wrong. PT was in the summer and found tight muscles. She was rough on my spine though and made me feel worse so I stopped going. She also wanted me to do kegals which felt awful and I don't agree anyone with tight muscles down there should do! Intuitively, I didn't feel PT was the answer either so I never believed fully in it. I felt more instinctively it was emotional, so I didn't want to put attention
On the physical anymore either so I quit for that reason too. I still feel like physical intervention isn't the answer and that's why I'm not looking for physical answers. I tried everything before and it didn't help so I can't see the point going down that road trying it again.

Years ago I just seemed to get better when I stopped looking for help or answers. And just trusted I was healing. And I just seemed to get better. My personal life was much easier and less stressful then though then what I'm going through emotionally now and processing through. Life was simpler then. But I do feel like I'm not trying to focus on my body and and trying to let it happen like I did before. but I'm still so stuck. I really don't research symptoms or anything. Other than encouragement stories of mind body healing and the power of our minds.


Yes, I've been told over and over again by Different PT's and chiropractors through the years I'm out of alignment. I was going to a NUCCA chiropractor when I healed before. But he was different- it wasn't like an adjustment, it was more like energy work. And he didn't find me out of alignment all the time, he just encouraged my that I was getting better. And I guess I simply believed him and trusted in what he was doing. Sadly, he's not helping me this time. He thinks I had too much stress going in that's causing it.
I think honestly, all PT's think all people are out of alignment. And we probably all are. But I'm not sure if we need adjustments. Though chiropractic does keep sciatica away for me. But sadly won't help my pelvic pain ( rectal, vaginal, perineum) which is I believe because it's full of stored emotions and blocked energy. I just don't know what to do to stop thinking about the constant psin- had no relief...