Pudendal nerve pain

Hello,
I am new here and have been suffering with PN pain since January. I have been paying a lot of money to see a very expensive PT. He thought my coccyx was out of alignment and did a lot of work on it, and my pelvic floor.
Initially it really helped and I felt like I was in the road to recovery. I was on a very low dose of nortriptiline that helped pain. The pt told me not to take it, so I came off it.
Anyway long story short, the pain ramped up badly after the last time I saw the PT . And I went straight down the spiralling hole of doom, despair and worry, then pain maxed out and I was a wreck. I can’t keep spending this much money to see this guy!
And I have a couple appointments booked in until he goes off on a 6 week holiday, so in my head I just assumed I’d be better by then. But I’m not, and the deadline of the final appointment is making things worse.

I have gone back on the nortriptiline and feeling a bit more sane. But weirdly I feel worried about telling the PT about me going back on the pain meds because I feel like i’ve let him down! I mean what is that all about? I’m paying him a fortune!

The PN symptoms initially came on totally out of the blue. No physical reason for the pain, but I was really having a hard time emotionally and couldn’t face going back to my crappy job after the Xmas break, and boom, PN graced me with its presence.

I’m pretty damn sure this thing is TMS. It’s come at a time where I have been struggling emotionally, and l was really exhausted from dealing with a lot of conflict in my job for 20 years or so. (Secondary school teacher in a crappy school).
I freaked myself out today about going back on the nerve pain drugs and basically the evil voice in my head did the whole “well you’re only just putting off what will come later and then you’ll end up suicidal because of the pain you have to endure”, kinda thing. So clearly that’s the fear kicking in. Has anyone tackled PN using the TMS approach? Also can I have some advice about pain killers. As far as I can see I need to be on them for a bit, just to give myself a bit or respite from the pain and get my head in a good place. The pain killers don’t take away the pain completely. They just make me feel so much less frightened and mental about the whole thing.

Not really sure what I’m asking here, but would love to hear someone give me advice on tackling PN, and also some moral support about having to take pain meds for a short time to help me take the anxiety levels down.
In all the honesty the pain meds usually take a few weeks to work, but they cause a feeling of calm, which I now have, which has in turn turned the pain down. So maybe the meds are actually helping me calm the hell down about it all and the whole thing is just anxiety related.

Please super supportive replies if poss. This is my first post and I am feeling rather fragile about it all.

 

Hi dancer79,

Welcome to the forum.

I recommend that you take a look at @ezer's postings. This is his thread about his healing from pelvic pain/pn https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/pelvic-pain-healed.8680/ (Pelvic Pain - Healed). (There are other success stories re pelvic pain/pn on the forum that you could do a search for too, for encouragement.) Anyway, Ezer went through all sorts of treatments to include for surgery for his pn and he was even a moderator on pudendalhope, a forum dedicated to pudendal pain with, as he puts it, "a strong surgery slant". Nothing worked until he took a mind/body TMS approach.

I also had so called pn - for two years in my case. I didn't opt for surgery and eventually it went away when I paid as little attention to it as possible. It's recommended that you don't use aids like cushions to cope with TMS pain as it gives the brain the wrong message, but I used a cushion all the time and whilst doing so just tried to get on with things, making a point of not searching for medical solutions...It wasn't easy to get on with things despite the pain, but get on with things I did and very gradually the pain disappeared. (My brain moved on to making other parts of my body hurt, but that's another story...I'm still a work in progress, but I am definitely feeling a lot better of late.)