I am proud that follow the programme daily and make posts, this is the only time I write about my feelings so openly, even without thinking. Also this is the only forum I write actively. I am sometimes surprised at what I wrote while journalling, because I usually start so clueless about what to write and then fill pages. I was not this open even when I was in therapy. Also I am proud I don't give up on the programme or the physical activities despite the resisting pain. And for the last not least, we -husband and friends- are talking about starting a new job next year -without quitting our current jobs- and for the first time I am not afraid of what would happen if I become physically unable or if I can keep up with rhythme.