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Parts Therapy Protector Parts

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Eric "Herbie" Watson, Nov 21, 2013.

  1. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've had so many ups and downs with protector parts in just a short period. Ive come to know that because I never looked at my personality in this light I was just cutting myself short in control over my real wants and needs.
    See in the past if I didn't wasn't to do something I thought that was a sign not to do it but now I know I've lost out on a lot of joy and fulfillment in life because my protector parts thought it might be more beneficial if I just set at home and wait on that trip to the beach, see my inner child was wanting to go and have a good time- it was basically screaming out and I had to understand what was going on so I could get this part of my thoughts under control. After I learned about Ifs and the protector parts I started to wonder was my protector parts protecting me from relationship and really thinking they were helping because of my conditioned , unaware self.

    I've been put here to excel and everyone on this forum and in life in general has been put here on earth to enjoy self, but in the past somewhere we started loosing that love for the fulfillment of a dream or a goal we always wanted to fulfill was always stored on the backburner of life.

    So in essence after I started to learn of these protector parts I knew they had good intent for me , it was they just thought I wanted to be a lump on a log so when it was time for me to get back to life and living it to the full, well I had parts of me that just didn't want too. I called these my protector parts and I really believed I needed to listen to them, I knew it wasn't my gut cause I was wanting to have some type of enjoyment so bad I could feel it but the protector parts were doing there job and protecting me.

    To make a long story short, now I use these protector parts as strength and power to help lead me to a fulfilled life and we all totally agree:)
    Bless you
  2. njoy

    njoy aka Bugsy

    Thank you for posting this, Herbie. I just saw it now and am digesting what you said. I think that what we call protectors in IFS is what brain scientists call the amygdala. Lately, we've all heard about this primitive part of the brain that tries hard to keep us safe. See, the amygdala is always scanning for trouble. It looks for patterns. If you want to go to the beach, it might recognize a time (or many times) in the past when wanting to have fun caused your little Herbie some big trouble. So, it stops you! Same with dreams and goals which you have put on the back burner. For some reason they seem dangerous to the amygdala.

    The thing about the amygdala is that it is very powerful and can stop us from doing what we really want (and often need) to do. We've all known people who want to travel, for example, but stay home their whole lives because "it's dangerous out there". Well, okay, but it's also dangerous in the bathtub so are we never going to take a bath? Life is dangerous and needs to be managed, not avoided.

    The thing is that the amygdala is powerful but it is not smart. WE CAN'T LET IT DO OUR THINKING AND DECISION-MAKING! That's not its job. If a protector pops up and says, "don't do it!" our true Self's job is to take leadership. True Self (I think it's our eternal soul made in the image of God) can reassure any opposition (protectors) that we will listen and take precautions so they can relax and trust that we will do our best to look after them and the child parts. The little kids that are hiding from life can now go have fun because true Self is taking care of business!

    Of course, we are grateful to the protectors for trying to help us and of course we will listen to "gut" messages from them, when the primitive part of our brain senses danger. Of course, we will. But we are not going to, any longer, let them run our life. God gave us our life and also made us in His image so that we can be wise and faithful and follow the dreams and goals He has put in our hearts as His gift and as part of His guidance to us in this world.

    So, there it is. Some people might be put off by talk about a personal God but it's what I really think!
    DanielleMRD likes this.

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