I just finished the unsent letters. I'm keeping some of the items in the forum and some for me personally. For some of the stuff that touches a little closer to homer I've been writing in a separate section. Things are going pretty well. The pain has definitely decreased, but it is still there. I've been able to be much more active overall. This weekend we had a party at the house. Normally, I would be completely wrecked after a party. I was fine the next day. Even after 11 kids stayed over and "slept" in the basement. I did notice in the morning things were a little worse, but I just told myself anyone would have a little stress from throwing a party and not to be surprised that my TMS was a little worse. I just went about my day. I've been able to get a little more brazen with my physical activity. There was a cooler filled with ice and drinks it was really heavy. I'm so trained to use good lifting techniques. I went to lift it and it was too heavy. I asked my step-dad to help lift it. Immediately, he wanted to do it for me. I told him no that we would lift it together. It felt so awesome to do it without fear, even if I needed help. I'm actually going to try running tomorrow. I've been doing well on my bike for 3 weeks now. Previously I had associated the pain with running. Anytime I tried running the pain would get worse. At least in my mind it would. I'm going to go a short distance, slowly and take one of my kids with me. I've been mad that TMS has stolen 3 years of my life, but wife told me she was glad I got it. Now, I know how to live my remaining years better. It has really helped me prioritize my life and what I want from it. I thought I needed to be this uber successful business man that made heaps of money. That was my mom's dream for me. It wasn't my dream. My perfectionist thoughts and need to please her made me attach my self worth to show much money I had in the bank. It is pointless. My wife, kids, family and friends give me great joy. I've purposefully tried to focus on my children and wife. I've found it rewarding and notice that when I am active engaged with them my symptoms are less. In the past when I was physically with my family I was not present. I was always thinking about work, or some new venture or project or really anything else. I was never truly living in the moment just enjoying them.