Hi tmspelvicpain,
I had the same pelvic pain syndrome for a few years. It's pretty much healed now. I may have mild pain (like 1 or 2 out of 10) when I'm especially tired but most of the time I'm at 0/10. I'm still on this forum because I want to learn about the human mind and how it works, etc. I haven't written my whole story yet in my bio but it was mostly the typical tale : Pain comes out of nowhere, gets very intense, clueless doctors, yada-yada.
At some point I found out I was overthinking things. Trying to figure out everything. But ultimately I needed to let it go, and just try to be lighter. I didn't NEED to know the cause of it. When I get the flu, I don't NEED to know the origin. I just got it and I then I need to heal it.
There was a very active part of my mind that, at some point, just needed to shut up. I just stopped listening to it (I called it Brainy smurf). I don't need to make sense of everything. I tried to be cooler, learn about zen, and stopped freaking out about everything, about every little sensation I have, about every thought I should have or not. I'm now just a passenger, a traveler, I see stuff, I hear stuff, I sense stuff, they go by, I continue my journey.
These are my suggestions :
- Don't put pressure on yourself about sexual performance : You can please your partner in a million different ways other than penetration. (Maybe it can even be a new speciality of yours lol!). I don't last very long myself, but my girlfriend doesn't mind. She's not a sex goddess herself. Nobody is. But we make it work and we have a great time.
- Learn to relax, to be cool (yoga, meditation, zen philosophy, Eckart Tolle's teachings might help). This will help you better control your thoughts (see n.5)
- Have a healthy life (drink water, sleep well), don't stress more than necessary. That mental energy will help you heal (see n.5).
- Do the muscle release exercices (maybe meet with a physiotherapist). This is not the crux of the problem (fear is) but that won't hurt and it will help you learn how to relax.
- Learn to tame the "pain". You need to stop fearing it, just feel it without fear. And don't listen to your mind trying to make you freak out ("oh the pain might be OK now but it's gonna get worse!!", "oh you just thought a bad thought and it's gonna wire itself in your brain!", "oh you're gonna lose your job and be a total disgrace!!", etc.) etc. Slowly, as you learn to know the sensation, the fear will dissipate and also the pain (because it is a product of fear). What will remain is just the sensation, devoid of pain. And eventually, that pain-less sensation will become just another sensation in your body, and it will slowly go in the background like the other uninteresting sensations you feel all day long.
- Read ezer posts (https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/pelvic-pain-healed.8680/ (Pelvic Pain - Healed)), and watch the curecpps channel on Youtube. This is the best help I've found out there.
So that's my 2 cents. Maybe you already knew some of that stuff, but I wanted to write it down in case somebody else stumbled upon it. This is pretty much how I got better. I'm still working on the anxiety part, because this whole ordeal really made me realize how it was impacting my life (even pre-pain).
I hope it helps. Good luck !
