Hopeful_Alexandra
Peer Supporter
Hi everyone,
It has been a long time since I have posted on here (and I had to get myself a new username since I appear to have forgotten my old one!) I first found Sarno years ago and was able to find relief from the back pain and widespread tendinitis that I had and had seemed to keep spreading. I also met with Dr. Schubiner who confirmed the source of my pain.
For about the past eight months I have had great success getting into regular yoga and jogging, aerobics and swimming and hiking. I have been loving it! It is the most active I have been since my teen years, when I began to experience the inklings of the above-outlined problems (I am in my early thirties now).
After nearly a year with no back pain (still with rotating knee/shoulder pain, but at manageable levels to do the above activities), this past month I have had two bouts of back pain. The first was at the beginning of my school year, the last year of my PhD- which could make sense that the stress of entering that final stage could be getting to me.
Two days ago, my back started to hurt again. I tried to persevere doing my usual activities (I did yoga yesterday and the day before) but unfortunately it has gotten worse. I had forgotten how much it can HURT! Usually when my knee acts up, it is more discomfort/tightness that I experience, but this is some wince-worthy pain going on here.
As the title suggests, I suspect this latest bout is related to my wedding next week. This week I don't feel that stressed consciously, but surely there is a lot going on below my level of awareness... at least, I would assume so. I guess I just don't remember how to do this- how to trust that it will eventually go away again. I have been catastrophizing a lot- worrying that this is the beginning of a lifetime of pain, that I won't be able to exercise again and will gain a bunch of weight, what if the past few years have only been a placebo and this is my new norm, etc. I can't remember how to overcome the fear. I do remember from past experiences that when I am able to detach from the pain and focus on other things in my life is when it goes away. I just can't seem to NOT focus on it right now.
I knew that I was really "losing it" when my fiance and I discovered mould covering some of our shoes in my closet. Normally, I would have really been upset by it (we have had mould worries since moving into this place) but I was very detached from the whole thing. I just put the mouldy shoes in the foyer and went about my business. When he got home he expressed surprise that I hadn't told him about it or looked for more evidence of mould. In fact, he said, "I figured you would have been really upset by this."
I am already in the habit of doing daily meditation and see a therapist regularly. I also just started a new group therapy program called "Managing Powerful Emotions," so maybe some of that work has been stirring things up a little bit.
Anyway, if anyone could offer some support/suggestions/reassurance, it would be much appreciated. Hello from chilly Canada!
Alexandra
It has been a long time since I have posted on here (and I had to get myself a new username since I appear to have forgotten my old one!) I first found Sarno years ago and was able to find relief from the back pain and widespread tendinitis that I had and had seemed to keep spreading. I also met with Dr. Schubiner who confirmed the source of my pain.
For about the past eight months I have had great success getting into regular yoga and jogging, aerobics and swimming and hiking. I have been loving it! It is the most active I have been since my teen years, when I began to experience the inklings of the above-outlined problems (I am in my early thirties now).
After nearly a year with no back pain (still with rotating knee/shoulder pain, but at manageable levels to do the above activities), this past month I have had two bouts of back pain. The first was at the beginning of my school year, the last year of my PhD- which could make sense that the stress of entering that final stage could be getting to me.
Two days ago, my back started to hurt again. I tried to persevere doing my usual activities (I did yoga yesterday and the day before) but unfortunately it has gotten worse. I had forgotten how much it can HURT! Usually when my knee acts up, it is more discomfort/tightness that I experience, but this is some wince-worthy pain going on here.
As the title suggests, I suspect this latest bout is related to my wedding next week. This week I don't feel that stressed consciously, but surely there is a lot going on below my level of awareness... at least, I would assume so. I guess I just don't remember how to do this- how to trust that it will eventually go away again. I have been catastrophizing a lot- worrying that this is the beginning of a lifetime of pain, that I won't be able to exercise again and will gain a bunch of weight, what if the past few years have only been a placebo and this is my new norm, etc. I can't remember how to overcome the fear. I do remember from past experiences that when I am able to detach from the pain and focus on other things in my life is when it goes away. I just can't seem to NOT focus on it right now.
I knew that I was really "losing it" when my fiance and I discovered mould covering some of our shoes in my closet. Normally, I would have really been upset by it (we have had mould worries since moving into this place) but I was very detached from the whole thing. I just put the mouldy shoes in the foyer and went about my business. When he got home he expressed surprise that I hadn't told him about it or looked for more evidence of mould. In fact, he said, "I figured you would have been really upset by this."
I am already in the habit of doing daily meditation and see a therapist regularly. I also just started a new group therapy program called "Managing Powerful Emotions," so maybe some of that work has been stirring things up a little bit.
Anyway, if anyone could offer some support/suggestions/reassurance, it would be much appreciated. Hello from chilly Canada!
Alexandra
