Practical question: computer work

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dlane2530

Well known member
Hi everyone! I have a practical question. I am trying to deal with a conditioned response to using my laptop. One thing I'm realizing is that I often have a ton of pressure and tension in my forehead, scalp, jaw, eyes, temples, neck, shoulders, face, arms, back, etc. when on the computer which makes using the laptop frightening and stressful (or vice-versa). I even stop breathing or breathe more shallowly! It's not always easy for me to find the sweet spot in my glasses for computer work, so I anticipate trouble, difficulty, tension, nausea, pain, dizziness, etc. even though actually, neither my glasses nor the screen itself are really the issue. (Big nocebo with those glasses and with the laptop!)

I work on a freelance basis from home and also have guilt about that because I am also a homeschooling mother/full-time caregiver. My father also hates computers/any tech and he was powerful and abusive in my early life; he retains a lot of power in my psyche, so I definitely have a subconscious block/danger signal against using the laptop. Also, often later in the day (and sometimes immediately after using the computer), I will attribute my symptoms to having used the computer "wrong" or "too much." That's tough. Finally, I was told very forcefully in the past that my eyes and reading were the source of all my anxiety and symptoms. That was BS but I only have recently come to fully realize this.

Any ideas for me? One thing I thought about today was whether I could do some things to start associating the computer with fun. But I don't really have ideas of even how to do that or what those could be.

Anybody have success with improving computer tolerance? I'm so tense!!

I have been having improvements with watching movies on the TV, which is great! Also with reading. Although I still have a ways to go on both these conditioned responses/triggers.
 
dlane2530 said:
It's not always easy for me to find the sweet spot in my glasses for computer work, so I anticipate trouble, difficulty, tension, nausea, pain,
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Dixie,
I always have my optometrist calibrate my reading glasses for computer use. You can also just get a computer use prescription—solely for use when on your computer. That should help. ❤️

Also: Maybe you could just do baby steps of fun only on the computer for awhile. 5 minutes of shopping? 5 minutes of looking at beautiful pictures of places you’d like to go? Then after awhile— weeks maybe? Increase to 10 minutes. Then give yourself a treat afterwards.

(Screw what your father thinks. You’re not him!)
 
I have the same issues @dlane2530
The stress is real but so is my vision. I've been in quite a bit of a flare for the last few weeks. After identifying a lot of stress, I had a few other symptoms that made me head to the optometrist ... and I need new prescriptions.
Eventually I suspect something like this won't give me any symptoms - once my nervous system does an even better job of regulating, I should just have the same "messages" that I need my glasses changed as anyone else does. But for now, when I get a new prescription I do get either changes in symptoms or a slight increase for awhile then it all settles down.
It can happen with many things. For me it happens with changes in certain clothing, shoes, even the weight of earrings etc. It's kind of funny and I just go with the flow. Eventually it's all gonna totally settle down and I'll be able to wear anything or make these changes without any drama.
 
Cactusflower said:
But for now, when I get a new prescription I do get either changes in symptoms or a slight increase for awhile then it all settles down.
It can happen with many things.
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I totally get this. I'm much the same (and not just for glasses -- anything on my body! Don't get me started on shoes.). I've had this new prescription (and it's been rechecked) for a few weeks now so I'm trying to stick with it like a normal person and relax the tension. The tension, my goodness!
 
I have some conditioned responses around my work too and my laptop. But I also use it to play Minecraft!

Until a few months ago I had a computer that was solely for work. It pretty much died, so I got a new one and this one I use for everything - for personal use and games too. I actually use different browsers for work versus my stuff like this forum or YouTube. I'm not saying buy a new laptop as they are not cheap, but could you put some games on it? Like even simple games like solitaire? Or organize the computer in another way where like you don't see your work folders or apps easily?

Or do you use a laptop for this forum, which may or may not be helpful?
 
Everything you're saying is really pointing to TMS. You've got a lot of unresolved anger issues with your father who was abusive and controlling. You also have internalized guilt over using the computer due to his influence.

The problem with offering compensating behaviors is that with TMS you need to avoid encouraging the psyche in its control over your behavior. So anything you do to help with TMS needs to be a wholistic approach that addresses the connection between the mind and the body and not focused on specific physical behaviors or physical compensations. Whatever you do should focus on retraining your brain to reinforce the idea that your physical symptoms are the result of your subconscious mind and not the result of anything you have done physically. There is no situation where using the computer wrong or too much induces your symptoms or there would be millions of people with the same symptoms.

I've found that hypnosis can be very helpful in dealing with mind body issues. I had a couple of hypnotherapy sessions and also read a few books afterward on self hypnosis and now I use it to retrain my brain into thinking more positively, which overall helps. The ironic thing about hypnosis is that everyone is really good at unconsciously hypnotizing themselves into doing the wrong things. We all have negative thoughts that result from negative feelings which then snowball into other negative feelings and more negative thoughts, this is us hypnotizing ourselves. Essentially hypnosis teaches you to descend into a deep state of relaxation using various techniques (there are many, some work better for some people than others) and then from that state you can retrain yourself with positive thoughts. Also, to dispel a myth, no one does anything under hypnosis that they don't want to do.
 
dlane2530 said:
My father also hates computers/any tech and he was powerful and abusive in my early life; he retains a lot of power in my psyche, so I definitely have a subconscious block/danger signal against using the laptop.
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Compliments on making this connection, that's very insightful. You might want to doubledown on this and see if you can go further down that rabbit hole.
 
webdev said:
Everything you're saying is really pointing to TMS.
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Yes, it's absolutely TMS. The OCD aspect is fixated on my eyes. For example, today I got my glasses frames slightly adjusted (they were slipping down a lot) and all my sympoms are raging -- even though there should actually be no visual change from this adjustment. So.

Thanks for the thoughts about hypnosis. I have done this occasionally with my trusted therapist.
 
dlane2530 said:
One thing I'm realizing is that I often have a ton of pressure and tension in my forehead, scalp, jaw, eyes, temples, neck, shoulders, face, arms, back, etc. when on the computer which makes using the laptop frightening and stressful (or vice-versa).
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Easy peasy to at least make a start in improving this - place your tongue lightly against the roof of your mouth and your jaw will relax... your forehead, eyes etc., will follow suit. See my posting, which goes into more detail re this phenomenon - that is, that relaxing the jaw in turn relaxes the pelvic floor and in turn that relaxes the rest of one's body, here https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/strange-happenings.29800/#post-158621 (Strange Happenings) If you regularly check the position of your tongue and reposition it as necessary, very very slowly it will become a habit and you will be and feel so much more relaxed. This is part of a 'bottom up' mind/body approach... in doing this you're using your body to teach your brain that there's nothing wrong, nothing to be fearful about.
 
BloodMoon said:
Easy peasy to at least make a start in improving this - place your tongue lightly against the roof of your mouth and your jaw will relax... your forehead, eyes etc., will follow suit.
Click to expand...

Interesting that you posted this because one of the revelations I've made about myself since discovering TMS is that I carry a lot of tension in my mouth and jaw. I catch myself biting my cheek when I'm stress-thinking (not sure the best term for this - but it's when you're not exactly worrying but you're making plans in your head and scoping out all the possibilities of risk etc). Most of the time I'm driving when I do this cheek biting thing, maybe because I zone-out then and move into stress-thinking mode out of habit.

Anyway, I catch myself doing this and force myself to stop - but I like your suggestion of tongue-to-roof as an alternative.
 
BloodMoon said:
Easy peasy to at least make a start in improving this - place your tongue lightly against the roof of your mouth and your jaw will relax... your forehead, eyes etc., will follow suit. See my posting, which goes into more detail re this phenomenon - that is, that relaxing the jaw in turn relaxes the pelvic floor and in turn that relaxes the rest of one's body, here https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/strange-happenings.29800/#post-158621 (Strange Happenings) If you regularly check the position of your tongue and reposition it as necessary, very very slowly it will become a habit and you will be and feel so much more relaxed. This is part of a 'bottom up' mind/body approach... in doing this you're using your body to teach your brain that there's nothing wrong, nothing to be fearful about.
Click to expand...

I've also been told of this approach and it does work, but it does require mindfulness as you say. I'm continuously improving in this regard.
 
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