Today has been a big day, as I have talked a lot about a past incident in my life, as well as completed some meditation and listened to Dr. Schubiner on the mind-body connection for the day 6 training. The past event I've been reflecting on was doing a small addition on my house this past spring with my father-in-law. He is extremely generous and extremely capable. He's also a perfectionist. This was done at a time when I had a 4-month-old, was getting my MBA, completing interviews for a new job, and dealing with the first manic episode of my twin brother. I've talked about the stress a lot to a lot of people, but I haven't really talked about the emotions behind all of this, which I'm now uncovering with the TMS program. I found lots of peace in my meditation, just trying to let go of some of these thoughts, but also acknowledging them. I acknowledged:
- Resentment for doing the project and missing out on time with my baby
- Frustration at his perfectionism
- Sadness at my self-abuse
- Lack of self-esteem during the time