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Day 33 Positive Effects so far

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Saoirse, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. Saoirse

    Saoirse Peer Supporter

    Yep in all honesty its more my attitute and my mind that seems to be drastically changing. Lat night I was in so much pain I started to have a panic attack at about 2am and my head was splitting all day. I felt cornered and highly emotionally sensitive very anxious. I had a rather upsetting and heated conversation with someone who was being very disrespectful of my religion on purpose baiting me i felt earlier in the day. I am Catholic and very passionate but private about my beliefs and while I see and do not agree with all the dogma of my religion and I understand why some people have problems with it here in Ireland my sister being one ; I don't like out and out muck throwing and anyone telling me" I am on drugs if I believe there is a place we go called heaven where we are all so happy ". I tried to get her to just let it go as religion is a bad subject for conversation with a lot of people but she just shh'ed me so I got very uptight and annoyed and "shared " my views and it was all too much for me afterwards, I was shaking and upset. Ergo at 2am I was up to high doe and the pain went through the roof, I normally would take Xanax when the pain makes me that upset that much , you know your bowels turn to water and your literally on the loo. But I do mindfulness and I slowed down my breathing and spoke kindly to myself , telling myself I was safe , I was ok and that the pain was my emotions venting. It took about 20 minutes but it worked and I was actually sure for the first time it would , I did not take Xanax and trusted in the process of TMS and thats big for me. So I am positive for the first time in years although I am in pain I am stopping myself form just taking the breakthrough painkillers for the first time and trying to reduce it myself by focusing on whats going on emotionally not physically .I guess I feel I am taking control for the first time in many years and it feels good.
     
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Saoirse. I'm sorry you had such a stressful time overnight, but it's understandable why. You had a very emotional and disturbing encounter with someone about religion.
    I too am Catholic, 86 years old, and learned the hard way not to talk about these three things: religion, politics, finances. Who really care what others think? I believe in heaven because I want to. I'm glad you were able to get through the night without a pain killer. Most medication just makes things worse. You are taking control and the positive effects will continue and you will be pain-free.
     

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