Day 15 Pondering the movement of pain

The question to ponder today: "During the past two weeks has your pain been moving around? How has this affected your belief in the diagnosis?"

My response:
After I realized that I was experiencing TMS, the pain moved immediately from my knees into my middle lower back. The pain in my lower back was excruciating. At first I reasoned that my lower back felt like it used to (prior to my knee pain my back pain was often severe) because I was now walking more. I figured that I must be using my back poorly again. Throughout childhood I was told that I had poor posture and slight scoliosis. Since the arising of my knee pain, I’ve been told that I have poor alignment. Yet, as I faced my emotions rather than reacting to the pain, the pain eased up in both my lower back and knees, although the release of pain was not sudden (but seemed to take anywhere from 6 to 12 hours). Over these past two weeks, as I watch these patterns and am prompted by the Structured Education Program to write about them, my belief in the diagnosis deepens.

 

I am on day 15 too. I now have new pains one is in the joint of a middle finger and another down my left ankle. is it from my sciatica? why is it when the pain moves, I question and fear??? what did I do? did I bend wrong? did I type too much? do I need to see a dr? do I need an mri? the fear! all this tms makes sense. I can certainly acknowledge it is psychological. but my mind doesn't want to let it go. how do I FEEL the emotions to get rid of the pain?

 

If you have 'The Divided Mind' by Sarno the Chapter by Douglas Hoffman addresses that question. It was very enlightening cause he says it's not necessary to 'fix' everything...simply acknowledging what the mind is doing is enough...when I read that it did correspond with a noticeable change...that really cleared up my sense of being overwhelmed by the same quedtion/thoughts u r having.

 

mncji123, Sounds like we both have experienced similar types of panic/fear when the pain shows up, wherever it may be. This program and community is helping me re-pattern so that rather than going directly into panic mode (and all the associate psychological responses, like what did I do to create this pain now?) I've been going directly to my emotions and living with them as they are. The other day I experienced an intense knife like pain cross my leg, and when I went directly to what was happening in my heart/mind, I could immediately connect the pain with the very frustrating interaction I was having with my children.

 

How do you connect to your emotions? My " joint finger pain" is really bad today. How do I connect this pain to my emotions and make it stop?

 

I keyed in on the anger as the repressed emotion to try and simplify. Once I did that I focused on what I was really enraged about. I came up with a few things tied to my personality...acknowledging it. Then I said ok I get it but we are not going to deal with it this way. Progress but still flares so trying to figure this out.

 

When you identify the emotion such as anger. Which I can do easily! How do you deal with it to make the pain go away.

 

Well sometimes I would say to it no f@*+ing way are we dealing with it this way...turn it back on itself and sometimes mor calm but pretty firmly no way...a just not accept it

 

I am so confused.

 

Don't give up hope...do u have any of the books? Read those and the the stories A LOT I I beginning.it wasn't til chapter 9 it sunk in

 

Yes, I re read the books. I can feel emotions. I just don't know how you are suppose to find out what is causing the emotion to get it to release pain. For instance, I feel angry that my husband has not been able to visit me for over 1 year. I live in Florida (due to health issues and I hate the cold) and he is in Minnesota. So...the anger....the why? now what?

 

Well that is a big step...now resolve that u will deal with it (not eliminate...impossible) and tell your mind....thats my basic summary

 

mncji123... I'm finding that all I can do is acknowledge whatever emotions exist as the pain arises. So when I experience pain, I go directly now to my emotions, and ask "what is happening emotionally NOW?" Sometimes the pain releases, and sometimes it doesn't. Two shifts have been happening for me. I don't know if this is helpful to you, but incase it may be...
1. Whenever I feel physical pain, I look directly at the thoughts that were passing through my mind when I felt the pain and how I am feeling emotionally.
2. I've been letting go of results. I don't have expectations of the pain staying or going. I'm doing my best to just with the emotional experience as it exists.
Janine

 

Sean, I appreciate your comments. However, I am very simple minded and intellectually with my language skills. I don't understand: "Well that is a big step...now resolve that u will deal with it (not eliminate...impossible) and tell your mind....thats my basic summary."

Can you please put this in simple English for me?

Sorry, I am so stupid.

I just don't get how as you identify the emotion, which is easy for me. And, why I have the emotion, I can do that. Now why won't my chronic pain release? What am I doing wrong?

 

Hi mnc, not sure how far along u r. It took me week to notice anything and it is still varying. Some advocates/thertapist say not to rush or try 2 hard.