Hi everybody. Oh, so many thoughts going on right now. I made a full recovery a couple months ago after three straight months of debilitating back/hip/butt pain. It was almost overnight from once I really understood what was going wrong until when I was better. I'd been reading the books and info for about a month, and then it just clicked and I was better. But now I'm in an incredibly vulnerable situation, which has brought up so much stress for me, and it's back with a vengeance. I can hardly walk or stand, but the worst part is that I CAN'T SLEEP. I've tried every single thing I can think of--I've written about it, watched videos, drawn pictures, expressed myself in the relationships I found oppressive, gone for walks in nature (when I could walk), talked to people I trust, etc. I can't seem to get through this, nor make any progress. Guided meditations, everything. I'm a spiritual person rather than a religious person, but this morning, around 6am, I started praying, and that was the only thing that helped me all night. I fell asleep for about an hour, which was SOMETHING. What's stressing me out is that I'm currently in South Korea visiting friends and have been here about a month, and I'm moving to Australia in a couple of days. I feel very vulnerable here in Korea because it's been more difficult being here than I anticipated (I used to live here, and I forgot the stress), but also, I have such high hopes for Australia, as I am hoping it's a place I want to live longterm, and I feel like my high hopes have turned to high fears and high anxieties. What I'm asking for is just some support. Have you been where I am? What did you do? All night, while I can't sleep, I feel not just like I'm in pain, but I don't know how to LIVE through this, it's just so incredibly demoralizing. I feel like I have nothing left in me, that the life is draining away, and even though some people can relate or be supportive, I'm in this all alone. My child self DOES NOT like that, especially since I felt alone my whole childhood. I never really understood that anyone could feel this much pain, but I guess that's what happens when it gets repressed and then comes up all at once. I can't tell right now if the pain I'm expressing here is physical, emotional, or mental; I just know it's overwhelming and I feel like I can't go on. Not talking suicide, just that my will to live, to get out of bed, to take a shower, it's all draining away. Please, can anybody just give me a bit of help?