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Physicians and TMS

Shanshu Vampyr

Shanshu Vampyr

Well known member
<OK, granted I have a unique, perhaps biased perspective>

'This healing journey is hard. Hard enough and yet with people living and dying under my watch it induces psychological defence mechanisms when the whole idea of TMS is about unburdening, lowering defences, challenging the repression."

"I have gained a lot of weight over the last year and now it's my not-so-easy task to mindfully STOP the stress eating, which many say is a defence mechanism against feeling your feelings too. Do you get that? Residency is exactly the psychological crucible that a recovering TMSer does NOT need."

"Every time feeling feelings is appropriate, situations call for shoving them under the rug so that life and death situations can be made. A Code is called. You need a doctor to be calm, cool and collected, but that flies in the face of all that is emotionally healthy."

"No wonder doctors suck at treating chronic pain/TMS. They're so used to functioning on only the intellectual plane as a defence mechanism for feeling anything emotional."

Wouldn't you know it? Voila, as I was typing this, guess what came over me but *another* spontaneous coughing fit. Well...it won't work. I'm onto the game TMS plays now.
 
My situation is very different from yours, but I get your concerns. I'm a Reiki teacher and practitioner, when I'm working with clients/students I have to be mainly focused on them. Many of them have anxiety issues and a lot probably have TMS (I've recommended Sarno books so many times in the last 6 months!) Of course, this is not as severe as working in the ER with people that are having life & death problems. But maybe in some way this story can help...a few weeks ago I found out that one of my beloved dogs had cancer and would probably die in 3 -6 months. In the midst of this I had a lot of clients scheduled and was also teaching a class. I was concerned about how I would handle everything, especially teaching since there are several portions of the class that involve meditations having to do with feeling your feelings (I was worried this might trigger me to have a meltdown while I was teaching). I talked about it a lot with my TMS therapist and decided I would keep up my teaching/client schedule. She had mentioned that feeling feelings does not mean we have to feel everything right away. Hearing that helped me a lot.

The class actually went really well. I was mindful of my own emotional pain but it was in the background and I knew I would have time to fully sit with it after the class was over. This felt a lot different than my old pattern of completely numbing out to grief, anger, etc.

Unfortunately my dog's cancer progressed rapidly and we had to have her put down the next day. As horrible as it was/is, I have not been having much pain. I think it takes practice to really feel your feelings, and if you are in a stressful job especially one that involves taking care of other people's needs you want to find a way to feel compassion for these people without taking on the totality of their suffering, especially if you have to be calm to make decisions about their health. I think it can be done and you are well on your way.

Have you read Lissa Rankin, MD at all? She writes a lot about these issues on her blog.

Also, I hear you on the stress eating. That's the other health issue I've been working on this year along with TMS.

Take care,
Veronica
 
veronica73 said:
She had mentioned that feeling feelings does not mean we have to feel everything right away.
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That's the Catch-22 of TMS recovery. We all want to be pain-free NOW. But we've each been unwittingly pulled onto a deeply personal, journey of healing and that takes TIME (I envy the book cures.)
 
veronica73 said:
Unfortunately my dog's cancer progressed rapidly and we had to have her put down the next day.
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I am so sorry to hear about your pet. I never grew up around animals (except the plush kind :) ) but I would be inconsolable if something happened to Bear. I know, I know, he's just a teddy to others, but he's all of my childhood wrapped up in an increasingly threadbare, but cuddly package to me. :(

I got an inkstain on him over the past few days because I'm so used to having him in my pocket. :'( I don't know how to get it out. :'(
 
veronica73 said:
Also, I hear you on the stress eating.
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Been trying to be mindful of this. Trying to "be with" my feelings when the impulse arises rather than stuff them down with food. Also, sometimes I'll pop a stick of chewing gum in my mouth when I really want to be noshing on something. Or fruit.
 
"I have gained a lot of weight over the last year and now it's my not-so-easy task to mindfully STOP the stress eating, which many say is a defence mechanism against feeling your feelings too. Do you get that?
Click to expand...

Loud and clear. Like Veronica it was one of things I wanted to work on with my TMS therapist but I had to stop going for financial reasons. When I was last in the presence of my mother and brother, we were having lunch in a restaurant and my brother started to talk about his best friend that had died a while before. My brother suffers from bipolar disorder and can get quite emotional. He started to get all choked up. My mother quickly shusshed him and told him to eat his lunch. I watched him take the first few mouthfuls and as he did so he calmed down. WHOAH! Big Ah Hah moment for me and this was before I was even aware of Ah Hah moments. This is what must have happened to us from a young age whenever we wanted to express ourselves. As a child if I was talking too much at dinner, or more to the point, talking about something my father didn't want to listen to, he used to say "Did you come here to talk or to eat???!!!" This meant, shut up and eat your dinner or leave the table and go to your room. The most effective way to shut myself up was to shove some food into my mouth. And unfortunately this is what I have been doing unconsciously ever since.
 
And the original point about having to put our issues aside to deal with people in our jobs, I can relate to this very well too. I have to be in the moment for people, able to listen and empathise. Recently there has been a reoccuring theme. The theme is "I am not wanted." This pushes the big red button for me but I try to focus on the other person and feel their feelings rather than my own. Mine have to wait until later. But at least I have made the link.
 
I got an inkstain on him over the past few days because I'm so used to having him in my pocket. :'( I don't know how to get it out. :'(
Click to expand...

Shanshu, I don't have anything to add to the TMS side of this conversation, but I can help with this (my ex calls me the queen of stain removal)(he still calls for advice). I'll send you a private message, however, since it's WAY off topic!
 
Maybe I'm taking things too seriously. In an alternate universe, a Code is called. And I, huffing and puffing after running up X flights of stairs, barely manage to get out:

"Peter Griffin, certified CPR. Don't anyone panic. There ya go. There ya go. Shh, shh. It's all gonna be OK" :)

 
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