Day 19 Physical after all?

Wow. How a few days can change everything.

When I first read the TMS book by Dr. Sarno, I had the same reaction many of you have described; I cried, and I saw myself on every page. My symptoms were a little different- not really back pain, but a pressure in my low back & abdomen that if ignored, caused me to lose control of my legs. As I read the book, the symptoms became worse but I saw that as a sign that I had TMS on the run.

When I was hospitalized at the beginning of this month and had several MRI’s, my back only showed up with 2 bulging disks and a little arthritis. That became more evidence that the condition was TMS. Yahoo!

But something else showed up too. I have a uterus full of fibroid tumors. When the pain became intense yesterday, I went back to the ER. They did an ultrasound of my uterus and found “extreme” fibroids both inside and outside of my uterus. My uterus was swollen beyond the maximum size parameters for a uterus. The weight of my uterus is comparable to that of a third trimester pregnancy. The doctor who treated me and read the ultrasound said that she “can’t imagine what I’ve been going through” and when I asked her if the fibroids could be responsible for my lack of mobility she said, “Absolutely”.

Since I don’t have health insurance or a lot of cash, today I begin the process of applying for a county medical card. When I drop the application off, I have the option of making an appointment to see a doctor. I’m going to do that with the nicest form of pushy that I can manage. I want surgery, and I want it this week. I want to walk without a walker. I want to walk my dogs when I move to NY in April (they won’t have a fenced in yard anymore). I want to ride bikes with my grandkids. I want to go for a walk without a cane or walker and go further than the curb. I want to feel younger than 85 (I’m 52). I want to feel slightly normal.

Whatever it is that you do to send good mojo to people, please take a moment and do it for me. Light a candle, say a prayer, send good thoughts. This place where I drop off the application opens at 9 AM. I’ll be there by 9:15. Approval for the card takes 2 weeks, but it’s effective the date you apply (not sure I understand all this, but I’m going to work it for all I’m worth).

Thank-you.

 

Hi Patti,

I'm sorry to hear that. I had fibroids in my early 20s and I had surgery to remove them a few times. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk about it.

I hope it goes well with the health insurance.

Take care.

 

Mine are huge and are likely to be the reason I can't walk. S o this may not be a TMS issue after all. I'm still hoping to have surgery this week, and my husband encouraged me to continue with the SED, just because it's put me in touch with so many buried feelings.

Thanks!

 

Best wishes, Patti. I am grateful for our National Health Service, despite all of its pitfalls. If it were me, I wouldn't be giving them nice, just pushy.

 

Patti, your case illustrates why it's absolutely necessary to have your symptoms checked out by a conventional MD to find any real structural or medical problems behind your pain, before self-diagnosing and jumping to the conclusion that it's TMS. I certainly hope that conventional treatment of your fibroid tumors alleviates your pain.

Best wishes on a speedy and full recovery.

 

Part of the problem has been that male doctors tend to downgrade the effects of things like large fibroids and killer menstrual cycles. It took a female doctor to look at the ultrasound of my uterus and then look at me and say, "I can't imagine what you've been through." Everybody else (male) was looking at MRI's of my back saying, "it's not that bad."

Sorry guys- not male-bashing here, just stating the truth as it's happened to me.

 

Sorry to hear that Patti. I've also had female doctors who assume that because something isn't painful to them, it won't be painful to me. We're not all the same

At any rate, I hope you are feeling better soon.

 

Are you familiar with Dr. Christiane Northrup and her books? She has very interesting things to say about fibroids. She and other docs believe emotions are involved in such conditions. I remember when she was on Oprah years ago with a group of women asking questions and I specifically remember one woman asking about fibroids.

Louise Hay also has some suggested ideas for emotional cause in You can Heal Your Life.

I know that if I get any type of condition, I am quick to check these various books and very open to the ideas about what my own emotions could be doing to contribute to (or cause) the condition.

Best wishes for healing!

 

Thank you all for your responses and well-wishes. On the insistence of a friend, I am reading Christianne Northrop's book Women's
Bodies,Women's Wisdom, and she does have interesting things to say about the emotional cause of fibroids. She and two other women who I call teacher, Caroline Myss and Louise Hay, concur. They're all about unexpressed creativity, and I have a bunch of it. I am doing daily meditations to try to unbottle those emotions, and am drinking an herbal tea concoction given to me by an herbalist friend. But I feel like my uterus is too far gone, and a hysterectomy is inevitable. I don't have an emotional tie to it, and I don't feel any negative emotions tied up with the idea of surgery to remove it. After years (4 or 5) of being physically incapacitated by this condition, to the point that I walk with a walker at 52, I'm ready for a big change.

Lori, I suspect that we have a lot in common where our attitudes towards healing are concerned.

 

Of course only you know what is right for you Patti.

I always keep in mind that THE BODY HEALS under the right conditions.

 

Good luck, Patti. Hope this will be a cure for you.