Perfectionism in the TMS process

C

Caroline

New Member
Hello everyone

I'm on day 2 of the structured program. Something that has come up for me is noticing my perfectionist/goodist tendencies arising in relation to the TMS approach.

Yesterday I started doing stuff I haven't done a long time due to fear of pain - namely using my mouse in my right hand. Much to my surprise yesterday was not to painful AND I managed to sleep - it didn't get ainful at night :-)

Today I am feeling vulnerable and frightened and the pain feels worse. However I noticed this voice saying 'well it doesn't matter how it much it hurts you have to keep using the mouse and you can't use ice to relieve the pain because that is giving it. You're just being weak and you'll never get better and yours is a really serious injury not TMS and now you're making it worse.'

So there is a big conflict - commit to doing the TMS process perfectly, be brave (which rather ironically seems to demand I suppress more feelings!!) but on the other hadn't the doubting fearful voice saying 'you have a serious problem that you're making worse.

I feel like I am going around in circles in my head!!

Any thoughts welcome.

Caroline
 
Hi Caroline. If you can, read "Hope and help for your nerves" by Claire Weekes. And replace nervous illness by pain when you are reading it. It might help you dealing with the inner fearful voice.
 
You can't do the SEP perfectly. Once you beat yourself up about it you can only make it worse. If you need to use ice, then use it. Just tell yourself it is only for comfort. As long as you believe the pain manifested psychologically then you are moving in the right direction.
For example, I did the SEP for migraines. I thought if I needed pain medicine I had failed. I was really tough on myself and actually it was unrealistic to think I would never need pain medicine ever again. It's an ongoing process with no time limit. You get better and sometimes you get worse before you get better.
Be gentle on yourself and keep exploring through the SEP. It's very helpful. Just have some patience with yourself. You're doing everything right.
 
Just lump that in with the TMS. Perfectionism is part of the problem. Try not to respond to that perfectionist voice... just the same way that you're trying not to respond to the pain. And don't get too angry when it does come up, because it will and that's not your fault. Don't push it away, just try to not take it so seriously.
 
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