Day 12 People pleaser - absurd level

[Ania]

Today I realized that I am goodist/people pleaser and it really goes to absurd level.
Not only I am often acting as a peacemaker. Not only I fill kind of shame and discomfort is someone near me makes a slip that can affect another person: for example says joke about old maids when I know that colleague next to me is 35 year old single and is unhappy about this.
Even when someone makes a blunder towards me, even in such a situation I try to turn it into joke, because I already think that this person will fill embarrassed when he/she realizes that he/she said something hmm... stupid. Like recently, I was having some health problems and was looking tired, when my colleague asked: "Are you before holidays or after? You look like you were before."

greetings to all people pleasers

 

[Josh Howard]

We're in the same boat! That seems to be a common link between most of the people suffering. It is hardest when I am around family/friends and want to please/accommodate everyone at every turn. It's exhausting.

Best of luck in your journey.

 

[dsihaya]

I was thinking about my goodist features and I got stuck, so I wanted to read some posts about the issue. I found myself in your posts. I feel the tension in a room with friends or with family and I try to make sure that everyone is at ease. I feel if someone is offended by someone's words and I try to make up for it. I feel ashamed for others' behaviors. Even when I know someone is at fault I try to make excuses and I understand them, make them feel comfortable even if I know I shouldn't. I don't know if there is a word for over-emphatising. Also sometimes I am being so nice and kind in and I feel that people are thinking there is something wrong with me, but I cannot help it.
Thanks for sharing and helping me in discovering my feelings.
Best of luck.