1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Our TMS drop-in chat is tomorrow (Saturday) from 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM Eastern (NY) Standard time. It's a great way to get quick and interactive peer support, with MatthewNJ as your host. Look for the red Chat flag on top of the menu bar!

Pelvic Pain Relapse

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Paigeee, May 3, 2018.

  1. Paigeee

    Paigeee New Member

    Hi everybody!
    *Note: when the pain first started 10 years ago any structural abnormalities were cleared from countless medical tests/various docs.

    The reason I joined this forum close to a month ago is because I've had a relapse of my TMS--pelvic pain. But while I have posted about TMS stuff, I haven't really been specific about my type of discomfort and I feel that's an important detail to come forward with.

    After 4 1/2 years after my last relapse, I find myself in another one (I had a few small relapses in between, but I didn't let them get to me and they subsided in days). For some reason, with this relapse, it's got me in a complete panic. I have significantly more suppressed emotions than I have at the time of my other relapses. I'll give a slight overview of them: Right before this relapse, I was having massive amounts of rage from an unresolved emotionally abusive relationship I was in, I had the stress of graduating college and pursing grad school, I was looking into moving out of my parent's house, I needed to find a full-time job and I was also very stressed because the job I currently have (which I love) is only for student workers, so after I'm done with college, I can no longer work there. During this stressful period, I had been having growing fear thoughts of relapsing--how it would be such an inopportune time to have pain again. I would have semi-regular nightmares about having it. What's interesting is in these dreams, I would be in the same discomfort I'm in now, I actually had the physical sensation--upon waking, it would disappear completely. The day before I had my relapse I was in the midst of a nasty stomach bug. I clearly remember laying in bed, thinking "I feel like crap, but at least I don't have the pelvic pain--thank goodness for that." After I thought that, the whole rest of the day my fear was heightened about getting it. I went to bed that night, with no pelvic pain, and woke up with no pelvic pain. I remember laying in bed thinking "Good! I don't have the pain, phew." Guess what? One second later I had the pain, and that's how the relapse began! It went from 0-50 in seconds, literally.

    However, one thing I should mention is that many times during this relapse, I've had hours, sometimes almost a full day or two, where my pain drops from an 8/10 to a 2 or 1/10. A few times it's even disappeared. Then, it crops back. Clearly, nothing structural works like this and I'm working on journaling to express my repressed feelings. Last week when I journaled on a particularly painful day, the pain dropped significantly for hours.

    I know looking at this from an outside perspective, it seems SO obvious that I should just be able to get rid of the pain as quickly as it started. But for some reason, this time it has been very hard for me. I think I just got so used to feeling comfortable I forgot what it was like to have the pain, what it was like to be in a relapse. I also have the pressures of all these life things I have to get accomplished, which further makes me nervous. You combine that with the rage I had from being under emotional torment for 1 1/2 with someone and I feel like I was a relapse waiting to happen.


    I would deeply appreciate any advice on how to get through relapses--this has been a rough patch but I refuse to give up. Thank you so much for reading!
     

Share This Page