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Pelvic/glute pain journey

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by MusicMan89, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. MusicMan89

    MusicMan89 Newcomer

    Hey guys,

    I'm new to the forum and to the study of TMS in general, so I wanted to share with you my experience with the hope of gaining a greater insight into my condition, as well as support.

    My struggle with TMS started back in March of 2016. I'm a healthy, 27 year old guy (26 at the time), and I've never really had any issues with chronic pain/discomfort before. One day, out of the blue, I started to get the sensation that I had a urinary tract infection. (I've never had one before and don't even know what it feels like, but that's the best way I can describe it). It was a feeling like I had to urinate, but nothing would come out. I also noticed that I felt what I would describe as a "hypersensitivity" in my penis. All of this just randomly occurred one day after I ejaculated.

    I had a urinalysis, which came back clean, and was examined by a urologist who said that I looked normal. The best advice that he gave me was to take hot soaks. The feeling of having to urinate soon subsided, but I also began to notice that I had a "tightness" in my glute area. Certain stretches, such as a forward bend, seemed to alleviate the tightness, but it was still very intense most of the time.

    Perhaps the most alarming side effect of all to me was the fact that I seemed to have developed premature ejaculation, which always coincided with the glute tightness. This was very depressing for me to say the least, and I quickly began to catastrophize and have such dark thoughts as "My life is over, I'll never be able to have a relationship, no one will ever want me now" etc. Obsessively reading about piriformis syndrome and the pudendal nerve filled me with a grim dread the likes of which I have never experienced before. It was a feeling like I might as well be dead because I'll never be able to find love due to this issue.

    I have seen yoga instructors, chiropractors (one recently who told me that my right S1 was out), and physical therapists. The physical therapist noticed that my right glute was very tight, and he did a manipulation on it with his elbow that seemed to release it. I thought that that was helping, but I still had the feeling of tightness on and off, combined with the premature ejaculation.

    Fast forward to present day, and my condition is still with me, although perhaps not quite as intense. The glute tightness seems to be very random (definitely aggravated by stress), and I can last a bit longer during masturbation, although there is always that fear of ejaculating quickly that causes me to not enjoy it as much. I noticed that I also have a lot more pre-ejaculate than normal during sexual activity. I told a urologist this recently and they didn't seem to be too worried about it.

    I have been studying the teachings of Dr. Sarno (thanks to Howard Stern) and reading different books on TMS, combined with psychotherapy. After reflecting on what I had read, I began to realize that the context of when I first developed my "issue" was a very stressful time. I had just come back from a short vacation weeks earlier and had become unemployed. I spent most of my time alone in my apartment (I still do), and I was filled with worries and concerns of not being able to pay my rent, finding a new job, possibly having to move back home, etc. That, combined with the fact that I definitely immediately catastrophized the issue when it first started leads me to believe that this issue is TMS related. Much (if not all) of the characteristics that TMS sufferers seem to have (being a "do-gooder", feeling responsible for others, etc) rings true to me. I've also suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life.

    I apologize for the lengthy first post, but I thought that writing all of this out would be very cathartic for me. I welcome any comments or feedback that you guys might have.
     
    Gigalos likes this.

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