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Day 15 Pausing so so so much to process

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by dede, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. dede

    dede New Member

    On day 15. Taking a break. So much has been stirred up, I need time to release so many old beliefs about myself. I mean to really release that stuck energy from my body. And to do it with heart and self love and compassion is very new to me and I need to be really tender with that. For a while I need to take a break from journaling just to catch up with all I journaled about let alone all the other things that have been coming up because I've opened myself up for any past events to come to consciousness. So many events and people and now feelings that I hadn't thought about in years. I need time. Still very much wanting pain relief from this relentless, moving around, debilitating pain. And I still have fear and doubts along with the persistence to keep on the mind body healing path. Will wait to complete day 15 when I feel ready and will still journal in my separate personal journal.
    How are you? To Whoever reads this.
    plum likes this.
  2. Rainbowdash

    Rainbowdash Peer Supporter

    I can relate to this so much. I took to taking breaks between days. I do a little bit of required reading and think about what to journal and let it percolate for a few days. Then when I feel ready, I write and it has been really helpful. I must have taken over 50 days to complete the 42 day program, with longer gaps happening after day 15 i.e. 3rd week. Towards the end of 4th week, I was taking 2 - 3 days for each day of SEP.

    As soon as I wake up, I tell myself "I'm healthy, I'm strong. With me there is nothing wrong. I'm happy. I'm calm. With me there is nothing wrong" I sort of sing it to myself about 10 - 15 times and I can see a marked difference i.e. I'm able to get out of bed without fear or resentment.
    plum and Ellen like this.
  3. dede

    dede New Member

    Wow. I am not there yet. Still dealing with pain, fear , anxiety and trying to meet it in a new way with lots of love for myself, my self as a kid at different ages, facing the emotions that have come up through this journaling process that feel overwhelming. My poor body and soul feel so battered and need love love love and more love to recover
    plum likes this.
  4. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Lovely dede,

    It does well to pause sometimes during our healing. This serves vital functions: it permits rest (from the strong emotional waves), it allows assimilation of experience and the yielding of insight, it gives space where space is needed and this distancing can help us see how we are too intense and how this self-same intensity creeps like couch grass through all our efforts.

    Pausing goes some way towards the eventual development of stillness. With stillness comes the gentle awakening of emotional poise. This composure is invaluable in healing. This is why many here choose to meditate, practice yoga or other mindful activities. Journaling can be mindful too. These practices help us learn how to self-soothe and self-soothing is a Master Key to healing.

    So pause as needed. Take your time. Be like the tortoise, not the hare. Care for your body, sleep, rest. Care for your soul, nurture it with soul food. Simply take very good care of yourself. This is the beginning of all healing.

    Plum x
    Ellen likes this.
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi dede,

    Two things jump out at me from your post. First, that the journey of healing from symptoms is taking you deeply into your self, and self-understanding. What a gift!!

    Second, that as you are with yourself, there is a growing presence of self-compassion. In my experience this kind of self "being with" only grows when the basic suffering of our lives is exposed. With mindful awareness of our pain, love arrives.

    I hope you feel and see this. When we're in our suffering, we're usually not aware of the loving presence, which is part of us. But reading your post, it is very clear to me.

    Wishing you the best in this.

  6. Jogus

    Jogus Newcomer

    Hi, I’m on day 13 and I’m feeling very tired. The first week was very emotional journaling. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through it. This week it doesn’t feel like I’m going as deep for some reason. My pain has eased up so I’m so happy about that.
    My mantra is I am pain free I am pain free. I even say it when I wake up at night.
    I also think accepting that I’m creating the pain has been huge for me. I have very low self esteem and didn’t realise all those negative thoughts where creating all this pain. So learning self love is good for me. I thought self care was self love. But they are two totally different things. I was doing all the self care but not putting in the self love. So trying to do all that and just keep on going.
    Good luck with your Journey.

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