Today we are supposed to write an entry about a past problem, but as I keep going through my TMS journal there is a current stressor that keeps coming top of mind. I think it is largely responsible for my current problem and I need the courage to somehow change it. 4 years ago I was asked by someone I worked with in the past to come work for him. The company was small and he offered literally to double my salary. Sounds too good to be true right. The problem I had mentally was that I really liked my current job and it had very good long term career potential. The $ offer wasn't the exact long term career path I wanted and if things went south I wouldn't be in a very good position to find a different job. My current employer really wanted to retain me. The current employer came up with a compromise. They would give me a raise and let me work for this other company as a consultant. The reality of the situation was that I now had two jobs. The TMS symptoms started about 2.5 years ago. All the extra money was great, but it was making a wreck of my family life and I would cringe every time the phone would ring as it would be an additional work related thing for me to do. I've cut back on the consulting I do, but even with the reduced hours the responsibility remains. During this time I also got promoted at my regular job with even more responsibilities. I just feel like I can never fully unwind. When I keep going through the past events, current stressors and personality traits this just keeps coming into focus. I have one of those perfectionist, need to be liked and please others personalities. I have a hard time saying No. And both employers feel like family to me. I keep thinking this is my body's way of getting me to slow down and have a normal life. I think I'm going to hire someone to take care of company X. I'm doing it tomorrow.