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Day 9 Part of my journal

L

levfin003

Peer Supporter
"I want to ask society why do people treat orphans so badly? It is not our faults that we do not have anyone to take care of us. Are our hands dirty? Do we not have table manners? Are people ashamed of us being round them, while they are enjoying fancy dinners? Why do people have to rub it in an orphan’s face what the child cannot achieve? Why do they have to tell them that “hey, you…yes you the orphan. The thing is your father does not exist. And when he does, I control him. You can never drive that nice car. That is reserved for my children. You can never get that good education. That is for us.” I thought that society is supposed to help orphans, not shun them. Is there something about being an orphan that is so negative in social settings? Are orphans shunned because they are low progeny? Because they do not have a family that can be beneficial to anyone? In all those moments as a child I felt that no matter what I do, I will always be shunned by the established society. Simply because, I was a nobody"

p.s. I grew up with a single mother. I consider myself an orphan because I do not have a father. And today that I am highly succesfull, I still carry those feelings of deep insecurity
 
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Hey levfin003, thx for sharing part of yr journal.

Technically u r not an orphan because an orphan is someone who has lost both parents so I wonder why u categorise yrself as one. What was yr relationship with yr mother like?

It seems like u had some bad experiences thru no fault of yr own. Whereas some ppl may treat orphans with disdain there are many good ppl out there who would never dream of behaving in such an awful manner towards a helpless, innocent child. The fault lies not with you but with those kind of ppl who lack sensitivity & r ignorant, emotionally retarded & essentially bullies. We all encounter such negative ppl in our lives.

It would definitely have had an impact on you emotionally to be treated as such but now that u have established yrself & made a place in society for yrself you can begin to let go of those insecurities that no longer serve you any purpose & get on with the task of enjoying life & be proud of what u have achieved.

Good Luck.

Mala
 
Hi, Levlin. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I still feel insecure and I am 84.
I've learned that most people, if not everyone, feel insecure. It's part of life.

Mala is right. You are not really an orphan because you have a mother.
Many fathers do not really provide security to their offspring because they aren't secure themselves.

If some people do not accept you because you don't have a father, dump them.
Focus on the people who accept you. You're a good person and a successful one.

Be kind to yourself.
 
Hi Both - Correct, I am technically not an orphan but was always made to feel like one. Some people tried to take advantage of us because we were raised by a single mother, and there was no "man" to protect us. As I started journaling on another topic, my mind wandered towards this deep insecurity, and I ended up writing about this.

I feel that its good to mourn this aspect of life, while I celebrate my success and what I have overcome.
 
Levfin, I like what you just wrote, that it's okay to mourn that part of your past, but are celebrating your success in what you have overcome.
That's a very healthy thing and will help a lot to stop any pain.
 
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