Day 26 Parents

[Christine]

As I continue discovering my triggers and reaching deep into my past I am finding that a lot of my "issues" are a result of my mother not giving me the attention I expected. I used to joke about everything being my mothers fault but realize now that it may very well be.
This discovery has helped me to realize where my frustrations and anger are coming from but I have a ways to go to be able to confront it.
But, knowledge is power!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Christine, besides journaling to discover why you are angry at your mother,
maybe try to think about what her stresses were. She may very well have had her own TMS
repressed emotions and was self-absorbed with them so she couldn't give you the attention you needed.

When I put myself in the shoes of my mother, father, and older brother I understood them better.
That knowledge really was power for me. I was able to forgive them and that healed my back pain.

My parents were under a lot of financial stress during the 1930s Great Depression (as are many people today).
This led to them divorcing when I was seven. That left me with a lot of insecurity.

My brother bullied me because he resented having my parents give him the job of looking after my sister and me
when he would much rather have been out playing with his pals.

 

[Stella]

Hi Christine,
It is very emotionally painful to not get the emotional support that you need as a child.

I tried so hard to get my Mother's attention. I watched every breath she took, every shrug, heard every sigh hoping I would see some sign of her love for me. It never came. She wrapped herself in grief for my dead brother. Years later she is still wrapped in that grief.

I have had years of numerous health problems and depression but i have forgiven her. It wasn't easy at first.

My mother also had a very painful childhood with numerous health problems and depression. She did the best she could at the time.