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Day 26 Parents

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by jrid32, Jan 13, 2016.

  1. jrid32

    jrid32 Peer Supporter

    I am finishing up Day 26 of the SEProgram, and the question to ponder was "When was the last time you have spoken with your parents?"

    Normally I speak with my parents weekly, but just about "surface stuff". I grew up in a loving home where my parents always seemed to get along and rarely do I remember them arguing. They raised my siblings and I in a moderately strict environment - church multiple times a week, required us to be "good" all the time, restricted us from some activities as we were younger (no going to the movies and no eating out on Sundays); but we never questioned this approach because it was all we knew at the time. With that said, I believe this may have been enraging to my inner child and I may have developed repressed anger towards them (even though I do not feel angry towards them!). Later in my teenage years, I wanted to rebel but only did on a few occasions - again probably adding to my repressed resentment towards my parents.

    Also my parents, especially my mom, were very stoic. The only time I remember my parents showing emotions was when they were mad at my siblings or me for "acting bad". I cannot remember through out any of my childhood and even now opening up and being emotional with my parents. I almost had the feeling of, "Hey, you have to be tough and not show people your emotions. You must keep everything close to the vest." Thinking back, I again just thought this was how we were supposed to act but am starting to resentment my parents for leading me into a "stoic state".

    No relief from the TMS pain symptoms, but I can feel myself gaining some psychological ground i.e. thinking pyscho vs. physical.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, jrid. It reads to me that you do have repressed anger about your parents, maybe especially your stoic mother. Journaling about it all will help you to discover the emotions such as anger and maybe frustration that come up from your childhood. My parents didn't show me or my older siblings much physical love but we knew it was there. They were both busy working and trying to make ends meet in the 1930s Great Depression.

    Journaling helped me to learn more about my parents and that they both had TMS, primarily from economic stresses, and lots of us have that today and I believe it is a common cause of TMS. I was able to forgive my parents (they divorced when I was 7 and remarried a year later but it shook the security rug from under me).

    Your girlhood was very strict... an overdose of religion and not being allowed to go to the movies or eat out on Sundays. You will just have to forgive them for that and other strictness. Forgiving is the great healer. You don't have to forgive them in person, so long as you can forgive in your heart and mind.
    It costs nothing to forgive. God says it is one of the great blessings to make us happy.

    You also have to believe 100 percent that your symptoms are psychological and not structural.

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