Jennifer_K
Peer Supporter
I had a breakthrough last night and just wanted to share my experience.
At about 6PM, I had an unpleasant conversation with my spouse on the phone. I didn't let him know I was bothered by it (not unusual), but I got off the phone and immediately knew I really was bothered. So, I spent ten minutes writing about it. At this point, the pain level was about a 4. The writing helped a little, but the pain was still there. Then I had a meeting to attend and sort of had pain on and off but it was bearable.
I get home around 8PM and my husband arrives a few minutes later. The pain shot up pretty quickly to about a level 7. He asked me a few times if something was wrong and I said, "I'm fine" even though I felt super agitated. Finally, I went and did a 15 min bodyscan meditation. During the meditation, I realized that I was feeling anger from earlier. Instead of suppressing it, I just let myself feel it - mindfully! I physically felt the anger inside my body and just watched it without judging it. When the meditation ended, I knew I had to now talk to my husband about the conversation earlier on the phone.
After I expressed my feelings to him about the earlier conversation, and we reached an understanding, my pain was pretty much gone for the rest of the evening.
This was a very powerful experience for me because it really gave me solid evidence that this pain is emotional. What other explanation could there be? I have had some doubts about it being structural, but after this incident, it's very hard for me to deny the emotional connection.
At about 6PM, I had an unpleasant conversation with my spouse on the phone. I didn't let him know I was bothered by it (not unusual), but I got off the phone and immediately knew I really was bothered. So, I spent ten minutes writing about it. At this point, the pain level was about a 4. The writing helped a little, but the pain was still there. Then I had a meeting to attend and sort of had pain on and off but it was bearable.
I get home around 8PM and my husband arrives a few minutes later. The pain shot up pretty quickly to about a level 7. He asked me a few times if something was wrong and I said, "I'm fine" even though I felt super agitated. Finally, I went and did a 15 min bodyscan meditation. During the meditation, I realized that I was feeling anger from earlier. Instead of suppressing it, I just let myself feel it - mindfully! I physically felt the anger inside my body and just watched it without judging it. When the meditation ended, I knew I had to now talk to my husband about the conversation earlier on the phone.
After I expressed my feelings to him about the earlier conversation, and we reached an understanding, my pain was pretty much gone for the rest of the evening.
This was a very powerful experience for me because it really gave me solid evidence that this pain is emotional. What other explanation could there be? I have had some doubts about it being structural, but after this incident, it's very hard for me to deny the emotional connection.
