Past few days have been eye openers for me.i realised I was living in a lot of fear and anxiety. I used a punching bag to take out some emotions and I think it worked(any other better way?). My pain has reduced by about 40 percent and it is moving around. But what I constantly think is how 3 years back pain went from 5/10 to 9/10 gradually in a month and crippled me because I was going to gym regularly ,ignoring about my disc-back problem.it was this time that started this whole pain cycle, and I still think that gym played some vital part in crippling me. Now I'm to scared to enter gym and start my life back. Should I wait for pain to completely go away or what? One thing more that bites me is when I realized I haven't cried for once in past 6 yrs after a shocking incident happened in life.i started relating crying as sign of weakness. Is this thing repression? How to get myself crying..