Pain Is Increasing

I have had some small minor successes with talking about my anger towards my mother for various reasons. The things that seem to have made a difference were talking about what I saw as being a bully towards me. Also I have talked about her control and (negative) influence over me and my life. All those have reduced the pain, but only temporarily.

Would anyone have any ideas of what I should talk about next - some other emotion to do with bullying or something else to do with anger???

This is getting very frustrating and there is no permanent end in sight for me. I do believe this is the most likely way to rid the pains from my body, but nothing I am talking about seems to be permanently reducing the pains.

I also have talked about the anger at the fact that I don't think anyone cares about me (from the fact that one of my favourite songs ever is Michael Jackson - They Don't Care About Us).

 

People, friends and family do care about you, NIClubber. They're just very wrapped up in their own lives or family to show they care about you.

It's great that you had a good talk with your mother. It may not have seemed to resolve anything, but I'm sure it helped her
and you.

Do some journaling about everyone who was close to you in your youth, then progress through the years to the present.
This will take you into better understanding them and your relationship with them.

If you consider the Michael Jackson song to be one of your favorites, you are feeding the negative in your mind and heart.
Find a more positive song to replace it. I can't name one right now, but even "Love Makes the World Go 'Round" is a more
positive thought than thinking no one cares about you.

Hey, I care about you and I don't even know you.

 

NIClubber,

Have you considered doing the SEP or some other structured daily program? These programs give you ideas about what to journal about and explore on a daily basis, and have been very helpful to many people in recovering from TMS. I'd check it out if you're feeling stuck.

 

I didn't talk TO my mum, I talked about my anger towards her ......

I have definitely become more assertive in the past 2-3 months as a result of therapy, but it is NOT reducing the pain permanently. This is something I find increasingly frustrating. Every time I come up with something to talk about that I think is going to have a major impact in reducing the pains, it doesn't make a difference. In the 2-3 times that it has reduced the pain, the pain has only come back worse than before ......

I can't let TMS beat me.

I did look at the recovery programme on the site, but found that it is all about writing about emotions, which I find easier to talk about (however bizarre that sounds).

 

It's easy when one's got a negative thought to gather all those memories that reinforce that....so try and make a collection of memories of people caring for you.It has helped me and now I have a trove of memories that feel good instead of just the bad ones.....

 

You are putting so much pressure on yourself to find a answer to your proBlem. As jung said nothing inhibits feeling like thinking. In other words you can't use so much logic when it comes to emotions. It's feeling them that needs to be done, not trying to force them out by searching frantically for them. go have some fun and get your mind off the body.

You don't have to find the magic bullet to heal. Some people never find what they are exactly repressing and they heal. Try letting go and forgive those people that hurt you. Let your body feel whatever emotion comes but don't force it. You will heal when it's your time. Be patient and give yourself some compassion. Look at how react to life daily and piece together your puzzle. We are what we believe.

Ryan

 

It's been so long since I feel like anyone's really cared for me. I'm not actually sure if anyone has ever shown that they care. I don't doubt one or more people care for me ...... it's just nobody has shown it recently, and certainly not on a regular basis.

 

HI NIClubber: As we let go of our anger, we also need to learn to nurture ourselves, especially when we feel lonely. I sometimes think there should be a thread on what people do to nurture themselves, it seems to be a bit of a mystery to me sometimes.

 

Then go back to whenever you've a memory of care, however long ago it was and treasure it....sometimes when I feel isolated and alone I also feel it's helpful to drop down into my heart (literally imagine a little you going down a slide or elevator into your heart) and imagine a higher me hugging the present lonely one and that higher me is always there to help....