OK so after 1 month of little to no pain...what I call background noise...its all come back again. I have had some stressors. Which I've acknowledged and journaled about. I bent over 2 days ago and had a sharp pain in my back (after doing this repeatedly for at least 1 week with zero pain) Then it all spread into my legs and feet again. Now every time I bend or lean forward or stretch forward Im getting a sharp pain. Its now aching full time and Im starting to get an aching tailbone again and throbbing spine. I keep thinking I've re-injured it. Which looking at my evidence list does not make sense....especially given all the crazy things I've been doing for these last couple of weeks with no problem. I keep telling myself " its just TMS. My back is healthy and normal. I CAN BEND, I CAN stretch, I CAN move any way I want without pain" When I did this before I wouldn't have pain. Now every time Im getting pain. I have not been focusing on the pain at all. I know Im not supposed to. But when it takes over the majority of your body its pretty flipping hard to ignore!!!! My anxiety ridden brain is screaming WHY???? I was doing so good!!!! I know Im supposed to think psychological but if I delve into deep emotions right now Im just going to end up crying, tensing up and in more pain. I guess I pull out the muscle relaxants (if I didn't throw them all away) and go to bed. I know its possible to be to hard on ourselves and push ourselves too much. Maybe that's what I've done? I keep thinking if I just keep bending and twisting & lifting even if it hurts every time it will eventually stop? Or should I just back off and not push my body so hard? But my back is healthy....why cant I keep moving as much as I want? I read somewhere its good to yell or get mad at your pain...this is what Im doing and its getting worse I think because Im tensing up and getting upset. Aaahh....OK tomorrow is another day. Back to SEP. I will get through this....I will get through this...Thanks all for listening...it does feel good to get it out....Im sure my husband appreciates not having to hear about it again Ha!