Pain has spread

I've suffered now for over 5 years. It started in the groin, but then spread to the right side (like the hip flexor), then the muscles in my butt and legs seem to have weakened and now I have sciatic pain and leg pain. It seems to have spread. Argh!!!!!!

My mind flips between it having a physical cause and it being purely mind-body. When it spread to the right of the groin I did get referred to a physio, who much to my amazement checked me out and then gave me a free lecture on Sarno. I think he was shocked that I was so receptive. That was 18 months ago.

But here I am, a year and half later and now it has spread to my legs and butt and I am struggling to sleep at night due to the pain and discomfort. I ended up getting up and putting on a TENS machine.

I am slowly getting sick of my life and just wonder how much longer I can go on. If it wasn't for my wife and kids I think I'd have called it a day already :-(

 

Only because of your pain? Or many other things?

 

All about the pain and the anxiety and depression it brings.

The rest of my life is great and that makes it worse. It is like showing me how good things turned out but then putting me in pain so I can't enjoy it.

 

Symptoms "spreading" to other areas is classic, textbook TMS. That's the nature of dynamic pain. Unless you fell out of a tree, it logically makes no sense that the pain would "spread". All of these symptoms are a direct result of your fear and fearful thoughts, and focus. It can all be gone in an instant but first you need to calm down and recognize this symptoms for what they are...harmless, innocuous, and transient. Don't be fooled by them and don't allow them to preoccupy and concern you. Throw the TENS machine out the window, as it is nothing more than a gimmick which is reinforcing the fear and focus and the TMS strategy . There's nothing wrong with you. These sensations are false alarms coming from the brain. Lose the fear and hypervigilance. Start finding ways to make your life more important than monitoring these meaningless symptoms.

 

Well, if you actually have TMS its more like everything is not great inside you -> pain. Then surely that pain can can rid you of joy etc. But if its really true that everything else is so great except your pain, why do you think you have TMS symptoms? Is everything else ruled out?

One can have a high paying job, wife you're in love with and kids you love, while still suffering from how you treat yourself in your head or just the mounting pressures from everyday life (and your past). I mean, just having kids is an enormous amount of strain and pressure since you have to sacrifice so much of your own needs for others. Luckily it returns huge amount of love etc. but that doesn't mean its easy...

 

Believing that your TMS is in fact TMS is half the battle. Unless you ultimately decide for yourself that what you have is TMS (and nothing proves TMS more than pain spreading from one initial spot to the rest of the body), you will never get out of your current state. You need to give yourself enough time to let your mind out of the physical cause trap. Even after that, it may take a year or more to completely heal. Setting a timeline and letting your frustrations own you is a very bad idea, because it reinforces doubts. After about a year of slowly climbing out of the rabbit hole of pain I dug myself into, I started viewing my healing as a journey, not as a goal. And it worked!

 

I've been trying to calm down for five years :-( I've read so much about TMS and I desperately have wanted to put everything down to it, but then my mind keeps analyzing it and convincing me it must be something else.

And then even if it was TMS to start with, could it not be that the constant tensing of muscles (my glutes, pelvis, legs, etc) not lead to other problems which are now not TMS even though the original cause was TMS.

Thanks so much for your reply Miffybunny. I really appreciate it.

 

Very good point Hedger.

When it all started things were not as good as they are now. In a period of seven years I'd lost both my parents, had a horrible legal battle, had my gallbladder removed after much excruciating pain (I can't help but think even that was stress related) and then this culminated in a one-off relationship incident which I massively regretted.

That's when the pain came on and, in one form or another, it has never gone away.

I've read so much about TMS and am so convinced that this is a huge factor in it, but then something else will happen. Like I hurt my groin exercising and was in massive pain. That was over two years ago and it still hasn't gone. AMAZINGLY the physical therapist who checked me over said there was nothing wrong and (much to my surprise) gave me this lecture on Sarno and TMS. That was so reassuring, but then guess what ... I still have the pain every day although it is usually nowhere near as bad.

And then a couple of weeks back I got my thyroid reading back and my levels are getting worse again, so I convince myself that it is all down to my dodgy thyroid, and then I go down that route, which is what I am doing now - but all the time knowing that TMS is playing a part.

It is like I have spent five or six years turning this way, that way, then the other way and I am just going round and round and the years are passing by.

 

I've tried so much do that TG, but it is such a battle. Like now it is my legs that are playing up. It is as though they have circulation issues due to me constantly tensing the muscles, particularly my glutes, and the muscles all seem so weak now.

And then, as I mentioned in my reply above, I got my thyroid readings a couple of weeks back and they're worse, so then I put it all down to my thyroid, but then I think is my thyroid dodgy because I am so tense. But I am not tense on the surface. Nobody would have a clue. It is physically I am constantly tense. Gosh this is so hard isn't it.

 

Listen, my recovery was so much harder than what I had imagined going in! If I knew what I signed up for, I would have never started on that path, but I did and I am forever grateful. I had involuntary muscle contractions in my wrists and hands and neuropathic pain. I spent my entire life being tense, with migraines, TMJ, lower back pain - you name it. Yet, I was able to learn how to relax. The fact that you push your stress inside makes you even more prone to TMS. You have to learn how to release your stress and tension without damaging your body. There are ways to do it. I used somatic meditation, people use tapping and other techniques. You can do it. Just put your mind to it. The hardest part for me was to learn how not to shove my emotions under the rug.

 

Hi again!

Even if your muscles were tensing and spasming for 20 years straight, it's reversible and no permanent damage has been done. In fact there is not tissue damage at all. That's just a fear you harbor. Don't even worry about that...it's another way for your brain to create a preoccupation. We are often more afraid of the effects (restrictions in movement or "damage" for example) than the actual pain and symptoms! The TMS strategy feeds off of this preoccupation. In my case, my brain latched onto vanity. My knees were red and swollen and this distressed me even more than the agonizing symptoms of burning and stabbing. My focus on the way my legs looked (which had always been my best feature) kept giving the part of the brain that was creating the preoccupation to begin with, more preoccupation!!. See how insidious this is? Don't be fooled!!!

 

Well, that sounds like an enormous amount of emotional strain. I mean, I got emotional just reading it.

I´m going to leave it to more experienced people here to help you further so it doesn't become too many cooks. I see you already have a couple of Beloved Grand Eagles here helping you out

 

I can relate to what you are saying, although I already feel like it is impossible to unwind the mess I have got my body in, so I already figure it is impossible before even going in.

So have you found that these things such as somatic meditation, EFT and TMS in general have helped you sort out your pain and tension issues TG? Do they really work? I only ask as I have tried so much and here I am nearly six years later still in the soup, but with more soup than I had at the start :-(

I am going to read up on somatic meditation this evening, and I already have some EFT materials that I need to revisit as I never made it a habit.

 

Gosh you are right with the preoccupation! Like you with your swollen red knees I have been borderline obsessed with how my skin's quality and color has changed, and more veins than before and thinner skin too. Told you I was obsessed.

It does seem like if one part of me starts to feel a bit better, another part soon jumps into centre stage, and then after a while the original pain will come back, and that is how it has been spreading, with new parts being added. It is pretty much exclusively from the hips/pelvis down to the feet. Off late it has turned up the volume by giving me sciatic type discomfort during the night so that messes up my sleep. That can really mess with my head as it makes me so depressed.

I know you say don't be fooled, but I am, and have been for years - but hey, nobody would notice. It is my inner hell.

 

It is important to understand that what matters is not only what you tried, but also HOW you tried it. It depends on the personality, life circumstances and situation you are in. I went through the process of trial and error and dismissed what did not work. EFT did not work for me, but it worked for someone else who I know with the same CRPS (a very scary condition that @miffybunny and I both had a misfortune to develop).

It is hard to describe the entire process I went through in couple posts, it is more like subscribing to a mindset rather than a particular modality. The most important component of the mindset is to believe that you will heal. I described my entire path to recovery in a small book, so if you have 99 cents and couple hours to spare, you can read it. People seem to find it a useful how to manual on healing. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0834Q46SM

 

That is awesome that you wrote about your experiences. I will definitely check that out.

 

I got thinner skin/nails in general and bigger veins on my feet too! My itchy hands stay dry and take longer to heal. Glad all my tests are ok though

 

Which tests are you having Balsa. I just spoke to my doctor today and am booked in for some blood tests tomorrow. All the standard blood test stuff for thyroid and whatever else they can do. I'm expecting TSH to still be out as my new efforts won't have had any impact yet, but hope rest is right.

I also spoke to the doctor about TMS, although I didn't refer to it by name. It was refreshing to hear her totally agree about the impact that stress/tension/anxiety have on all these things. And she spoke about meditation, breathing, diet, etc. All refreshing stuff to hear.

Glad to hear your tests were all good.

 

It’s a excellent book

 

Thank you, Marco! I hope you are doing better nowadays. I am rooting for you!