Pain and overall discomfort in body

Hello, I’m new here! I want to share my story and would like to know if any of you can relate to my symptoms.

I will try to make this short, but for most of my life (I’m 30F) I have been struggling with anxiety, stress and depression. I have had many different both physical and psychological symptoms over the years that comes and goes.

In December 2023 I started to have a pain in my left knee, after I had been working out for about half a year to lose some weight and get healthier. It got so bad, that I was not able to do cardio or work out my legs anymore. I thought I just had to take a break and then it would get better after it got some rest. But I could not stop hyper fixating on it since I really loved to work out, and it stopped me from doing it. After some months, I also started to having trouble walking properly, because my legs and body in generel felt too stiff, and the knee kept hurting. I went to the doctor and they told me nothing was wrong with me, after doing some tests. I could not believe them and I kept spiralling about my health, and was scared I was starting to develop MS or some other bad condition. I kept googling and googling. They told me there was no signs of these conditions. I then went on vacation I had planned with a friend, and the symptoms was not noticeable when I was there. "Just" the normal anxiety symptoms. Then they came back and I started to hyper fixating again.

I got the worst flare ups all the time, where I had to lay on the floor screaming in pain. My boyfriend and parents kept telling me to relax at it was all from anxiety and stress.

At this time, I was also seeing a psychiatrist to find the right anxiety meds for me. He wanted me to stop the meds I was taking at that time, because I had some heart palpitations that potentially could be caused by the meds. I also did not feel like it was working properly. I only got a couple of weeks to get off the meds. He said there shouldn't really be much withdrawal symptoms from going off of them that fast, because I did not get a high dose. But hell yeah, there was. Everything got even worse because of that. I started to experiencing anxiety attacks I had never experienced before.

I played a lot of video games to pass time. The knee pain somehow disappeared and then I started to feel pain in both hands. I then thought I started to develop tendinitis from gaming for many hours. But even after weeks of rest, my hands and arms would still hurt. Then my back also started to hurt bad. That was mostly like nerve pain between my shoulder blades. I went to the doctor again and they told me there was nothing to see but referred me to a rheumatologist. The rheumatologist told me there was nothing wrong with me, but my body was really stiff and tense. They would not send me to and MRI because they said there was nothing wrong. I could NOT believe it, since the pain got worse and worse. Then I started to believe I was having a disc herniation, and the pain started to get worse in my lower back where I was believing I had it. I was so scared, and chose to pay for a MRI myself. I got my whole back scanned and the results also came back clear. After I got the result I got so sad, because I really hoped they would find something so they could help me relieve this pain. But after about a week, my pain and other symptoms actually started to relieve when I saw nothing was wrong wrong. I was mind blown. In the meantime, my psychiatrist prescribed me some new anxiety meds, and after about a week, almost ALL my pain disappeared. I was HAPPY. I started to believe the pain could be from anxiety or stress since they disappeared after I saw nothing really was wrong with me physically, and the meds also calmed me down. It was up to this Christmas (2024) and I had about 3-4 weeks without pain or any uncomfortable sensations. Then a couple of days before Christmas the pain started to lurk up on me again. It was in my whole body again. They went on for about a month or so, and then I started trying to find answers on Youtube. I found a video explaining how anxiety could manifest in such symptoms as I was/am experiencing. The video was a big relief and it made me so much more calm. The following day the symptoms disappeared again. I was AGAIN convinced: this MUST be anxiety! They went away for a couple of weeks.... And again, AGAIN they came back.

Also, the rheumatologist ended up saying that it probably was Fibromyalgia - but he wouldn’t recommend me having it as a diagnosis. Everytime I’ve been to these appointments, it only got worse!

The pain and other symptoms I am experiencing 24/7 is:
- Burning pain
- Dull pain
- Throat soreness/pain
- Fatigue
- Some days really bad soreness and ache like I have been working out hard the day before
- Feeling bruised or ran over by a truck all the time
- Sensitive skin
- A pulsating feeling in my whole body
- Heart palpitations
- Shortness of breath
- Stiffness in whole body
- Stabbing pain in different areas sometimes
- Flu-like symptoms when I have been doing too much in a day
- My hands and feet feels like if they are almost asleep, and you know when you have hit your elbow against an object and it gives you that weird pain through the arm
- When I lift up my arms they start to fall asleep in a short amount of time
- No strength in limps

Some days the pain is an 5-6 and on the worst they are a solid 10 - and it is really hard to cope anymore. Pain meds does not work. The pain is moving around my whole body.

About a month ago I learned about TMS and from that day, I got totally convinced that this is what I am experiencing. I have read Nicole Sachs book about Journalspeak, and have done the work 5-6 times. Also I’m listening to Dan Buglio on YouTube. I still haven’t gotten any better when it comes to the physical aspect, but mentally I am a lot better because I’ve found some hope.

So I guess I just wanted to say hi! If any of you have any encouraging words or advice, I would really appreciate it! Cause this is hard..

 

Also I want to apologize for my not so good English. I’m from Denmark, so it’s not my main language.

 

Hi Monica, welcome, your English is excellent! You’re in the right place. And don’t put too much pressure on yourself to see results, a month is still really really early, especially when we have likely been living unhealthily for years or decades. I love Dan, he’s a good guy and his methods have helped me a ton, I think he puts it well “the symptoms are the last thing to go.” First we have to address the lifestyle and thought patterns that fueled them, and simultaneously work towards getting over the fear of the symptoms


I also really like the mindful gardener, it’s a YouTube channel.