Day 9 Overly Critical

I'll be the first to tell you that I am overly critical of myself and push myself way too hard. I've taken the day off work today to get some errands done and just sit and read/journal for most the day. I found myself pushing myself harder and harder to get more and more accomplished today, in hopes that the future/rest of the week will get easier. I find myself constantly doing this in my everyday life, simply packing more and more in to hopefully one day make it to having done enough. I found myself getting very upset and overwhelmed at one point today from all the pressure I was putting on myself to go do this/that read this, hang out with this person, call this person, clean this or that.

I have read posts that talk about simplifying our lives and doing less, and know that this is something that I definitely need to begin living out in my life, but also feel a great deal of responsibility in all aspects of my life. I know Sarno talks about not needing to change our personality, but simply recognizing the pressure and how that is the cause of our pain. Any thoughts?

Also, would like to get feedback on the necessity of getting a formal diagnosis of TMS. I have been through the medical gauntlet (mri, xray, physical therapy, cranial sacral, bloodwork, acupuncture, cupping, pain specialists, injections, patches, pills, etc) and ended up with a diagnosis of "myofascial pain syndrome" with the internist's advice to continue pushing through, not worry about the pain, and know that there is nothing structurally wrong. This wasn't a formal TMS diagnosis, but with my history of chrondomalachia, and current acne/tendonitis, this aligns with everything I have read in my 5+ times through Sarno's books (recently began accepting the diagnosis). I've put the TMS label on myself and believe in it as I fit the model personality, symptoms and multiple diagnosis underneath the TMS umbrella, just wanted to know if it is absolutely necessary to have an MD label TMS to recover. Thanks everyone for your time and input!

 

Hi Hugh,

An MD would rule out more serious conditions such as cancer, infection, broken bone, etc. It sounds like you have already seen many doctors and thatn one even indicated that there is nothing structurally wrong. Most people don't have a TMS doctor near them and just see a primary care doctor or another specialist as you have already done.

I don't think we can/need to change our personalities. I find I'm learning to be more accepting of myself and also to be aware of my tendency to put excessive pressure on myself. Just this awareness can really help.

Veronica

 

I do notice that as my TMS pain subsides (dissolves?) that I seem to be getting lazier and much less obsessed. I think the choice is between being all jacked up all the time and having TMS pain, or adopting a more leisurely approach and getting rid of the syndrome. Looking back, I do notice that I used to get a lot more done when I wasn't totally stressed out. It isn't necessarily a choice between Ying and Yang.

 

Thank you both so much for your responses! Veronica: I see that by realizing this and even facing the fact that yes, I do put a ton of pressure on myself helps me to say no to some of the pressure I put on myself. Still a work in progress.

MorComm: Love it. I think this is something I have been fighting to give up. I feel like there is a trade off between the "jacked up" state that I get into when I'm in hyper do everything mode vs when I'm peacefully breathing through the day and not having to fill every second of the day. Last night after reading your post I decided I would give up this stressed out "seemingly productive" state for more peace. Today was great, handled the work day with much much less stress. Love it, thank you.