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Outcome independance fails?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Lonewolfbunny, May 23, 2020.

  1. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    I was doing pretty good with ignoring and then yesterday by the end of the day doubt and anxiety and disappointment set in. I ended up crying which felt good. Woke today with an anxiety attack. Pain better after crying. Ok so far this morning. I think having pain in my teeth is tricky because I can't test/prove it like I have conquered my neck, arm shoulder stuff. I read about "suicide nerve" pain and worry thats what I have...it is almost comical because I will always latch onto something horrific. When I fall into the trap of dr google it does not look like dentists have the answer so then I get more scared. How do I prove TMS in an area that can't be exercised, or moved etc? I also got really angry at my pain yesterday but not in a healthy way but it was different than my usual curl up in a ball pity party...that came later of course.
     
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  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Believe me, I sympathize, but there is one way to 'challenge' it the way we do with our back, shoulder, arms etc.... Go and get some nice rock solid bazooka or double bubble and chew it. It seems sort of counter intuitive, but then so does doing pushups when your shoulder hurts

    Not to sound too unscientific BUT Teeth are caught up in our anger about aging. "Long about the tooth" "Old toof-less" . Most dreams about losing your teeth (crumbling) are generally agreed to be about getting old. Most of my personal defintely-was-tms mouth stuff started right around the time I began to tend, care for and then watch My Mom die. I suppose it reminded me of my own aging at an unconscious level. Didn't feel much emotion at all...but boy I had all kinds of teeth cracking, Trigeminal nerve stuff and TMJ sleeping stuff...all left after that chapter ended.
    Those are OK too... when your done, get up and get out there and fight! I didn't win every battle, but I did win the war.

    hang in there
     
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  3. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    Funny thing, I can eat without discomfort but chewing properly on that side is hard because I have an implant post on the bottom still waiting for a tooth. But the implant was fairly involved and scared me about loosing more teeth etc.
    I turned 50 April 23rd haha
    I have dreams of teeth falling out lots
    So I guess being able to eat and brush and floss without pain is a test of sorts. And I went almost four days at 95% better...then at work...it started up again.
     
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  4. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    Can extinction bursts happen several times over a couple weeks? I felt so close to healing and so 100 % sure it was TMS. I appreciate your response and I will keep hanging in there!
     
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  5. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I know this forum has slowly evolved it's own nomenclature regarding TMS, but I really don't use the "extinction burst" model. I always pay close attention to what could be bugging me whenever a symptom that is TMS 'flares'. My last mouth pain .... Hmmm.

    I believe when it hit 'peak attention getting' I was on a job with my son... Who was complaining we didn't have enough work...and then when I got us a job , he is the first one to ask "what time are we leaving?". I want to rip him a new one, BUT the client is within earshot.... the client also think my son is the Naz, so I have way mixed feelings.... vanity about my son being so 'cool' and 'respected' and Rage cause I know he's mailing it in.

    as soon as I decided that was the cause, the pain went away. It even went away before a dental appointment I had.

    Sarno always said that when pain seems to come out of nowhere, look really close. Like in the room you're in! (LOL)
     
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  6. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    Hmmmm...I think my pain comes when I "have to" but don't wanna. I can go a stretch of have to's and be fine but not fine. I am basically talking about adulting stuff like cars breaking down in the winter (I live in Manitoba Canada and we have very cold winters) which happened over and over before Christmas. Thats when it all started...Plus I was considering more work...and I really didn't wanna. But part of me is saying step up...so pressure and stress and not getting enough time to do stuff I like. Irony is, pain and anxiety causes me to avoid everything all together. So I think my anger is at having to be a grown up.
     
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  7. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    I have a cool kid too and have listened to music that makes my hair stand on end. But I like to think I am cool also so I don't complain
     
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  8. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Back in the day we used to say that the fastest way to piss off a (penniless) musician was give them a gig.
    Mine too. It sucks.

    Me too. It sucks. :)
     
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  9. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    I know that ignoring the pain is one of the keys to turning it off...and I can ignore it...but there is a few seconds of pure fight or flight sensations/panic that happen more quickly than my decision to accept and carry on. Can I still teach my brain these symptoms are safe even though I have a mini short panic reaction before ignoring/soothing etc.? Or is this where one just gets better over time at intercepting those anxiety responses? Also clearly, since I can't stop adulting any time soon, this is the path I need to be on...
     
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  10. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    The reactivity softens over time especially if you’re not struggling too much with fear. A brief flash of panic is ok. It only becomes a problem if you let it take you for a ride but this also gets easier to shrug off. Are you familiar with Claire Weekes? Forgive me if you are but if you’ve not explored her writings and audio you are missing some real gems. There’s a lot of stuff about her and by her on the forum.

    I know we forum peeps sometimes jest about how vexing responsibly can be but this is mostly just letting off steam. Having being a carer (caregiver) for well over a decade I know the emotional ebbs and flows well enough to cut myself some slack on this. I’ve found it keeps the psychological pot off the boil and allows me to simmer back down into baseline serenity. I guess “true” outcome independence comes with acknowledging the over-arching sweep of the range of emotions and trusting the deep wisdom of this too shall pass. From this perspective there are no fails or even ‘fails’.
     
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  11. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    I wish my panic reactions were short and mini!!!!!
     
  12. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    @nowa this has been something I usually have longer panic about trust me. I am working my off the full blown cycle of panic and despair but it is hard.
     
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  13. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    How are you doing this? Sorry to be so dumb...
     
  14. Lonewolfbunny

    Lonewolfbunny Peer Supporter

    @plum I love Clare Weekes. When I worked through a TMS flare last year it turned into the craziest bout of 6 am full blown alarm wake up calls of panic and rather than leaping out of bed and running my panic out...i practised her method
     
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  15. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    I will try listening to her again ...
     
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  16. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hard but doable. The memory of the full visceral horror of a panic attack still makes me catch my breath but one of the ways I found to pass through those brutal first moments was to think of Claire and every awful sensation and fear eases just that little bit.

    The other thing that really helps is fresh air. On my knees I have breathed deeply, surfing the terror and nausea until it subsides and all the time knowing that it will. God alone knows how people coped before her.

    You take good care my darling x
     
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  17. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Do listen again. Listen often. Until it becomes bone deep in you. ❤️
     
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