out of the mouth of babes

Hi all,

I've been having a hard time with motivation lately. Now that the pain has almost become a non-issue in my life, I'm left with a lot of empty space. I sometimes feel lost and even though I have set out goals for myself, I find I lack the drive to get moving on them.

So the other day I asked my 12-year-old what makes him happy in his life. This is what he said, in this order:
1. Playing soccer (it's his life, as he puts it).
2. Snuggling with me (sweet!)
3. Doing anything with his dad (his hero).

In other words, happiness is about living your passion, having love when you need it and having someone to look up to. Maybe the kid in on to something!

 

That's awesome, Blake. A good reminder. I sometimes just watch my playful Bichons frolicking about to remind myself that happiness is never out of our reach.

My youngest boy, 17, still doesn't mind a snuggle from me. But I do miss our days when we'd snuggle up in the mornin
g on the couch and talk about things. One of my most treasured parenting moments are when he came up to me when he was around 12. He had hard day and just asked, "Mom, will you snuggle me?" Of course, I dropped what I was doing.

 

Awww sweet! But, also wise!

So, my question is, what wisdom about ourselves did we lose as we grew up? That inner child must remember right?

 

Thank you, North Star. I'm happy to hear there still may be a few snuggles here and there even once he reaches adolescence.

 

I remember when my 12 yr did the same know 17 I lucky I get a nod in the hallway…Know it my dog that gives me unconditional love…sometimes holding my dog is better then meds…and I mean it

 

Great question, Lizzy! My work with my own inner child is actually how I am recovering from toms.

Here's another interesting conversation I had with my son. A bit of background first: my husband is away from home a lot because he travels for his job. My son misses him a lot. I grew up with an alcoholic father. He was never around and, as a child, I thought it was somehow my fault. I have carried this dysfunctional line of thinking into my adult life and am working on resolving it.

So the other day, my kid tells me he misses his dad. I asked him how that made him feel (sad) and also asked him what he says to himself when he feels that (that he needs to take advantage of the time he does get to spend with his dad). I then asked him if he sometimes thinks that if his dad loved him more, he would stay home more. He looked at me so confused and said :why would I think something like that? I had to laugh! It really allowed me to see how the problem is in me.

I don't know if I will ever fully recover from my dysfunctional childhood, but things like this sure do help change all that messed up wiring in my head.

 

I have a cat and feel the same way about him.