One things disappears while the others rage on

For the last few months I have experienced a pretty intense fatigue/ general weak feeling, widespread muscle twitching as well as random aches and pains in different joints.

Today as I am writing this, these things persist, but I wanted to bring something else up...

Around 2 months ago I stared getting bad eczema around my right eye. This isn't the first time this has happened, and the first time it eventually it just went away on its own. This time, just like the last, no medical intervention seemed to help. I tried prescriptions, over the counter meds, and a few natural therapies. I eventually came to the conclusion that it might be TMS, so I stopped all treatment for it. Whenever I would look in the mirror I would tell myself, "I know this is just a manifestation of TMS, and I'm not going to have it. You can't trick me." Or something to that extent.

Lo and behold it's about 90% gone. It was bad enough at one point that nearly everyone I interacted with on a regular basis said something about it, and just this morning my girl friend told me she couldn't even tell it was there.


So why is it that I get this to go away, something that appears after my other mentioned symptoms, but not the other things? Is it because I find them more troublesome and stress inducing?

Any experience or words of wisdom?

 

I can't really answer the question but just to say I feel your pain...pardon the pun.

It is incredibly frustrating isn't it. I have the exact problem really in that I symptom shift all the while and symptoms seem to come and go at will but my back pain is always a constant. I do think maybe I sort of believe the other stuff is anxiety/TMS and therefore may be it doesn't have as powerful hold over me. With my back issue there is always an underlying niggle that the causality is structural so i'm thinking that element of doubt is what keeps TMS powerful in that area and the pain ongoing. Who knows hey?!

 

Yeah, great question, FC - and I don't have a great answer myself. This is really really common. I have tons of little symptoms that quickly come and go as I tell my brain they are just TMS. Then I'll have a more bothersome one that I can eventually banish with a little more work - often using mindfulness and visualizations. But my "favorite" (haha) symptom (vague dizziness or off-balance) is the one that comes back instantly under the smallest amount of stress. Recently I've begun to think it's just plain old conditioning. It's something that I've had for so long, I'm afraid I've become used to it - especially when I successfully banished my debilitating anxiety attacks four years ago - for better or worse, I decided the dizziness was TMS and that I didn't need to be afraid of it, and that it would eventually disappear as well. So maybe the problem is the "eventually" that my brain is taking advantage of. I'm still working on this theory, but unfortunately I've been overwhelmed with a lot of outside stressors lately, and I'm not being very mindful. It was a bad time to go for a long-overdue physical, because my BP is reading high, and now my doc is bugging me about it.

It's always something...

 

I think you've answered your own question in a round about way:

Around 2 months ago I stared getting badEczema around my right eye. This isn't the first time this has happened, and the first time it eventually it just went away on its own.

The fact that you had eczema before and overcame it using mind body techniques is ingrained in your unconscious mind. On a deeper level you've accepted and believe this to be TMS and can switch it on and off.

I think the obstacle that you need to overcome is your fear, doubt and preoccupation of the other symptoms. Once you've done this it will be much like any other symptom.

Best regards

 

Isn't that funny how there is a "favorite" symptom that tends to be your body's go to?
I suppose the pathway in your brain for this particular symptom may be a pretty deeply worn groove, so this is why it can come back so easily.
I think this is the case for my eczema. I have never really had eczema in the typical places. I have had very light eczema on my elbows and knees (barely noticeable). But the worst I've had is always around my right eye or on both of my feet. I also happen to notice that they happen seasonally. Feet in the Spring, and right eye in the winter... Conditioning is a funny thing!

You are right, I think the thing that is keeping my main troubling symptoms alive is FEAR.
When they start to get worse (because they do wax and wane), my anxiety begins to heighten and I then think "what if this is something serious?" - this naturally causes me to SPIRAL. I really need to learn to create a different relationship with these symptoms. One of acceptance, because I feel like the fear is keeping them alive. My mind knows it can use them as a vice and distraction. As for the Eczema... I guess because I don't fear something as benign as Eczema and I've told myself thoroughly that I knew it was TMS every time I looked at it, so my subconscious mind stopped seeing it as an avenue for distraction.

 

Fear can perpetuate the pain cycle, increase it's intensity and cause anxiety or depression. The key is to adopt various means such as mindfulness, loving -kindness meditation and eft to keep your mind at ease. The more we practice mindfulness the less of a hold emotions such as fear will have a hold on us, after all these are preconceived ideas that may never happen.

 

Thanks mike2014, these are all good things to keep in mind as I am very prone to going off on mental tangents. I used to suffer from OCD as a child, and while I don't have any more "routines" or "rituals" I think I still definitely have a lot of the mental components of OCD.

I also wanted to say that I love your avatar. Every time I see that Santa in lotus, I can't help but smile.

 

Good question......and BTW, you have given us some words of wisdom, you knuckled down and took control of your brain. My twitching and other symptoms (mainly the twitching though) have me over a barrel, the battle goes back and forth. The eczema is a big win for you.