Day 2 on the road

[escapee]

Has been about 1 or 2 weeks since committing myself to TMS (quiting physio exercises....trying to self massage as little as possible).
A friend wanted me to go with her to Yoga late last week. When i found out it was a 1 hour lesson I freaked out a bit. Anyway thought I'd just try and go with the flow. It was hard work but i tried to take it easy. It didn't really make my pain worse (perhaps a bit worse) but it definitely didn't improve things & I wasn't expecting it to. I had a little shoulder and moderate butt pain before and afterwards.
Haven't had much of a reduction in pain but I did notice something pretty cool. When going to the beach on the train and reading "Healing Back Pain" i felt the constant right-side sciatica disappear and relocate in a mirror image to the left side. I don't remember that happening before so it got me thinking.
When I got to the beach I was feeling my shoulder pain and feeling a bit sorry for myself. Though I ignored it and went body surfing. It felt really fun. The pain didn't really get worse.
My sciatica has been pretty bad at work this afternoon. I resisted the pain killers though.

 

[Explorer]

Escapee:

Good to hear you did all that physical activity. I am going to simply walk today. This is week #2 for me. Just starting it. I have found that today I have less glute pain, and like you said the pain keeps moving around. Also my unconsious is throwing me curve balls with acid refulx, which I haven't had in years and headaches. I won't let this keep me from doing the work.

I wrote down the reasons I have TMS on sticky on my desk.
1. Inferiority
2. Perfectionist
3. People Pleaser
4. Do-Gooder

This list is longer, but it's a reminder of why I have TMS. I also have a lot of childhood issues to work through which are painful.

p.s. I have but pain too. Seems to be my worst pain at times. I wonder what the unconsious is telling me. Don't kiss people's butts, stop being a people pleaser. Enjoy life!

Here's to healing,
Susan

 

[escapee]

Hi Explorer,

Thanks for your message and sharing your progress. That's a good idea thinking about your reasons. I reckon my top 3 would be:
1. Worrier
2. Inferiority
3. People Pleaser

Yeah i am also getting wise to stopping being so much of a Mr Nice Guy. It will make life easier in other ways too.
I hope you're still making progress. Hang in there, throw caution to the wind and give it a good shot. I know I will.

 

[Explorer]

Thanks Escapee - you can heal! I am feeling better every day and it's only the middle of week 2. I have a lot of work to do with my therapist. I have been journaling for the structured program and then more at night. It's hard to let go of the fear pain cycle but it gets easier.

I try every day to ask myself what do I need to heal today? Worrying, feeling inferior, pleasing people rarely answer the question.

Healing is a journing..... I am learning so much about myself.

 

[Forest]

1. Perfectionist
2. Worrier

Those were really the top things for me. When I first started being active the symptoms didn't go away right away, but they didn't increase dramatically. To me that was a win and a clear sign that I had TMS. Also, having your symptoms move around is a clear sign of TMS. By reading Sarno you were realizing that your symptom was caused by repressed emotions and so your unconscious had to move your symptoms around to distract you again.

 

[Explorer]

Forest

You are so right. My pain is moving around a good bit. I enjoyed walking today and felt very clear headed and happy. I used to worry about the pain the next day but I did not do that today. I also decided not to put a time frame on healing and like Steve said let it happen when it happens.