On not offering to help

I used to feel the same way, Dixie, that certain work just belonged to me. And I’d even turn down help. I think I learned it from my mother and grandmothers. But I realized recently, like you said, @Sita, it also had to do with control, if I were honest. It was my “territory.” But this past year with my TMS —EVERYTHING has changed, because my husband does 99.9% of everything I used to do. He can’t believe how much work it is. (And we both always had jobs. But, I always took on all the “traditional” women’s work, in addition. Later, I got some house cleaners.) Sometimes I feel guilty he’s doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc. now. But then I think, “my gosh, I did it for 25 years!” And THEN, I wonder: did my lizard brain get so fed up with the way things were so unfairly set up, that it intervened to make me change? When I get stronger, I’ll never go back to the way things were. And I even regret now that I didn’t make my kids do much more to help me, when they were perfectly capable. *sigh*

 

100%. Such compassion but also practical help and tough love as needed. I'm so grateful!