Day 21 Old Habits versus "new" self-reflected personality

[SebastianM]

Hi everyone,

I realize that I tend to fall back to old habits when I am stressed or overstrained with a feeling/emotion. In this situations I begin to self-reflect and meditate. But I also begin to scrutinize some of my reactions and some thoughts I have. It feels like I am torn between old habits/thoughts and my (new) self-reflected personality. It's difficult to find the middleway or to find out who I really am. This produces insecurity and leads to fear and anxiety. Afterwards I recognize signs of a flare up and more pain focus. I seem to be waiting for pain. The symptom imperative does it work and at the moment it touches me more than the days before.

Do you have similar experiences, particularly concerning old habits and selfdestructive behaviour and the will to change them with self-reflection and journaling?

Would be great to hear your opinions and suggestions .

Greetings
Sebastian

 

[EileenS]

Hi Sebastion,
Herbie posted something a few days ago where he reprinted a dialogue between a therapist and client. The therapist likened it to a path through a field. When you first drive along it there's no path, but as you continue along it, the path becomes deeper until you have created ruts in the road. ie, you are setting up new neural pathways in your brain and you just have to keep rewiring along the new pathway. Look for Herbie's post because it was really good.
Hope this helps.

 

[SebastianM]

Hi Eileen,

thank you very much. I understand what you mean and it sounds very logically. It's a nice symbol for the ongoing process in my/our head(s).

After a spontanious journaling in the morning before going to work/university I am now back in my middle and completely pain independent. Writing about stress and being self-relective is like a valve for me. Thinking about and confronting myself with thoughts and habits is like creating ruts in the road. Do you agree?

I cannot find Herbies post. Do you have a link for me?

Have a nice weekend

 

[EileenS]

Hi Sebastion, I can't find where I read about the path turning into ruts, but you get the idea. Sorry.

 

[Tennis Tom]

...the will to change them with self-reflection and journaling?

I just picked up Monte Hueftle's TMS book again "GET RID OF THAT PAIN IN YOUR BUTT NOW!", after starting it and putting it aside years ago. He comes to TMS from a marathon runner's perspective and uses the term "bodymind" versus "mindbody", as an indication of that. What I'm getting from him is that TMS'ers are too much into their minds and NOT enough into their bodies. They are allowing their subconscious' to lead them around thus creating their TMS symptoms. Folks here have problems with not being able to perform the physical activities they want to do. I believe by continued reliance on the "mind" part they are asking the source of their inability to function physically to solve their problem. This is contrary to what their sub-conscious wants for them. Monte advises to get out of your mind and back into your body. Like Dr. Sarno advises, if it's TMS, return to physical activity even the most rigorous. This will begin the deconditioning process to overcome the nocebos that the body is broken and activity will cause further damage and wear and tear. I believe after accepting the TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN, the next steps are to use the body and stop overthinking the Good Doctor's simple TMS THEORY. All this thinking, meditating, trying to discover THE past "event" that caused "all of this" results in only digging a deeper chronic pain hole--overthinking, psychobabbling and paralysis by over analysis--get out of your mind and into your body--or into someone else's body for some transcordification as SteveO terms it.

 

[SebastianM]

@EileenS

When you first drive along it there's no path, but as you continue along it, the path becomes deeper until you have created ruts in the road. ie, you are setting up new neural pathways in your brain and you just have to keep rewiring along the new pathway.

I meant this sentence, I like this metaphor to explain parts of our minds .

@Tennis Tom

This will begin the deconditioning process to overcome the nocebos that the body is broken and activity will cause further damage and wear and tear. I believe after accepting the TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN, the next steps are to use the body and stop overthinking the Good Doctor's simple TMS THEORY.

I like your way of thinking. It is very positiv and full of energy. I think that I will reach this state of mind in the future but at the moment I am not able to be 100% trust in this pain thing. When I do little steps I am able to be happy and enjoy my life.

At the moment there must be a middle way. The missing focus on our mind is the reason for TMS or? In my case, selfreflection and meditation are necessary to find to myself. In the last 10 years I was like a zombie, driven by future fear, responsibilities, brooding and putting pressure on myself.

Did you start ALL activities from the beginning or took it a while? What was your method to calm down DURING these activites? I realize that during "most critical" activities I expect pain and, whod'd have thunk, pain comes and hits me more than in other situations. That's crazy..

Greetings

 

[Tennis Tom]

The missing focus on our mind is the reason for TMS or?

The reason for the TMS chronic pain is the primitive sub-c mind running the show, trying to protect us from stone age hazards.

Did you start ALL activities from the beginning or took it a while?

Post-TMS, when I started walking for exercise, it would take me about 20 minutes for my hip joint to get "warmed-up", for the synonvial fluid, created by the bursi in the joint to overcome the O2 deprivation created by the TMS and start feeling good. I would walk for about 45 minutes. I now run in the pool and after a few strides it starts feeling good. When you first get back to exercising, it takes a while to break-through the TMS O2 barrier and loosen up the joints. You have to breakthrough the nocebos laid on you that you will cause damage by using your body. No pro athlete goes into an event with out a warm-up and they get pre-event massages too. Pro tennis players have an hour practice before an event and pre and post-event massage.

I am not able to be 100% trust in this pain thing.

Belief, acceptance, trust, what-ever you want to term it of Dr. Sarno's simple theory is REQUIRED to heal--you can't believe the earth is flat and round at the same time. Otherwise, thank your TMS for being a PROTECTOR, doing it's job of distracting you from the emotional pains your sub-c has decided against taking head on.

I agree with Monte Hueftle, we are too possessed by our sub-c minds. We are not enough trusting in our body's innate intelligence to let go of conditioned thought processes, to bring us back to the present and conscious, to "we are in control" thinking/decision making--the being in the now thing.

In the last 10 years I was like a zombie, driven by future fear, responsibilities, brooding and putting pressure on myself.

Your sub-C was running the show and still wants to maintain control, with symptom substituions.

I realize that during "most critical" activities I expect pain...

If you expect pain, your sub-C will provide it as a conditioned defense mechanism.

 

[SebastianM]

Post-TMS, when I started walking for exercise, it would take me about 20 minutes for my Hip joint to get "warmed-up", for the synonvial fluid, created by the bursi in the joint to overcome the O2 deprivation created by the TMS and start feeling good. I would walk for about 45 minutes. I now run in the pool and after a few strides it starts feeling good. When you first get back to exercising, it takes a while to break-through the TMS O2 barrier and loosen up the joints. You have to breakthrough the nocebos laid on you that you will cause damage by using your body. No pro athlete goes into an event with out a warm-up and they get pre-event massages too. Pro tennis players have an hour practice before an event and pre and post-event massage.

Okay I understand what you mean. But I have a question concerning warm up: Dr. Sarno encourages "us" to do all activity without fear and without restriction. He advises to stop all stretching and pain-relieving stuff. It's right to warm-up if you do sports. But a walk through the park does not require a warm-up. Do you warm up before every activity you do or have you done this warm-up only to come back to activities and to find trust in your body?

Would you tell me more about your current state? Are you able to do all activities you would like to do? Or are there restrictions?

you can't believe the earth is flat and round at the same time

I'm smiling because it is so true . Thank you Tom!

Greetings
Sebastian

 

[Tennis Tom]

You don't need to warm-up your body for a casual walk in the park or around the block. You don't need to warm-up for a dip in the pool--just do it--don't get caught up in your mind--the mind is the problem--get out of your mind and just do it without analysis. If you're competing in an Olympic walking race or a swim race, you should warm-up.

Do a search here for my current state, I'm too sleepy at the moment to rehash it, probably if you google my name + hip, it should get you there.

g'night & g'luck
tt/lsmft

 

[SebastianM]

Thank you, Tom.

That's what I wanted to hear . I think I misunderstood parts of your second to last answer.

Greetings
Sebastian

 

[EileenS]

Hi Sebastion, What sports have you enjoyed doing and what is the recommended warm-up? For example, I enjoy running and the warm-up is to start off running slow. Stretching is done at the end when the muscles are warm from running. If you enjoy soccer for example, do whatever the warm-up is for soccer. As Tennis Tom says, don't get caught-up with the 'how' details.
As well, I don't know how old Tennis Tom is, but I think you said you're 28? When I was only 28, I would just 'do it' like the Nike commercials said. If I overdid an exercise my muscles might be sore for a day and that was it. No worries. Just the normal re-building of the muscles. Anything beyond that is probably TMS. So just get out there and 'do it' and enjoy yourself.

 

[Tennis Tom]

Seb, what EileenS said, and a more important form of warm-up for you is to warm-up your mind, by reading and stretching it, with TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN. Not activating your old TMS creating noisy sub-c mind, the one creating false symptoms, but your new observer, non-reactive, "in the now" mind, to paraphrase Monte Hueftle, as well as all the other TMS gurus. So, learn as much as you can about TMS, and don't google sickness sites.

 

[SebastianM]

What sports have you enjoyed doing and what is the recommended warm-up?

I do fitness workouts. Before getting pain I was in GYM 4-5 days a week. Now I do little workouts at home. I do not really warm up. I move my joints, especially my shoulder but I this is a normal thing before lifting (light) weights.

I really would like to do running, soccer, swimming or biking but at the moment I feel not "ready" for it. I have the aim to try some of these activities in the next weeks . I will not start a long run, maybe only 10-15 minutes.

If I overdid an exercise my muscles might be sore for a day and that was it. No worries.

This is right. I realize that being more active is very positive for my state of mind. The pain is sometimes more sometimes less but mostly I don't care about it. I begin to trust in my body and that I am able to do everything. But I also recognize that typical activities that I connect with pain are a problem for me. The steps to these activites are very very small. But it's okay. I am patient because since I have pain I started a journey to myself and I love my mindfulness and ability to enjoy life .

Tom's metaphor

you can't believe the earth is flat and round at the same time

is so appropriate but my mind needs time to really trust in it

So, learn as much as you can about TMS, and don't google Sickness sites.

Yes, I do exactly what you advise to me. Since I found this page, I am on a good way .

Thank you!

I am grateful for every experience, advice and suggestion you have .

Greetings
Sebastian

 

[Tennis Tom]

I am grateful for every experience, advice and suggestion you have .

Take some easy walks or easy swims or run in the pool with a flotation belt for thirty minutes, this will keep you fit enough to be able to focus on the TMS MINDBODY-BODYMIND transformations. It will energize you, keep you from getting depressed, and build your confidence that it's TMS--success breeds success. It takes a couple of weeks to regain muscle tone and aerobic fitness, then you can maybe get back to the more strenuous stuff you want to do.

 

[SebastianM]

Thank you. I will do it. It's energizing if a person who I trust in tells me that it's "okay" to do acitivities which I fear. In the past these persons were Doctors, physiotherapists...
Now, Dr Sarno (and all TMS specialists) and all TMSers in this forum have a big impact on my believe and my trust. I think that I need people to tell me that everything will be good.

I hope that I will be able to do this by myself in the future .