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OK to get a massage??

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by mousemom, Sep 13, 2013.

  1. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    I have been struggling with low back throughout the entire summer and the pain is constant. I have been doing my TMS work and reading but was wondering if I would get a massage if it would only hurt my progress or help? I know these muscles along my spine are tight and might just need a little help letting go. I am confused of what to do? Any advice? Thank you.
  2. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    A good massage is one of life's gifts. Have one. Enjoy it. Don't get hung up on the details.
    Dorado and mousemom like this.
  3. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    It's ok to get a massage. They're not placebos, they're doing exactly what you think they are doing, relaxing tension.

    Just be aware, like breathing and meditation techniques, that they don't solve anything. If the psychological conflict remains, the tension will return. There's no harm in soothing yourself. It's sometimes enough to erase the pain.

    Go for it mousemomma. It's more fun if you have someone you're attracted to do it. But dangerous!

    mousemom and MontanaMom like this.
  4. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Thanks for the encouragement. I should have mentioned that it was a prescription from my dr. to get a massage once a week for a month and then check back with him to see if this pain/tightness goes away. I guess that is why I am nervous to get one. I am not doing it to relax but to take away this discomfort. I am afraid if this pain does not subside soon I will be tempted to get an injection. This back pain almost crippled me yesterday with strong zaps that were so painful. These muscles will not loosen or stop the awful/fearful shocking like pains. Desperate :(
  5. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Ok good point. Don't get the massages to stop pain, that can be very detrimental, and you can't spell detrimental without mental. See them as a way to soothe yourself. See them as a way to lower your tension, not reduce pain. See them as something you have earned, as a way to relax, because you deserve them. This is important because in TMS there is always guilt and esteem and worthiness issues.

    Don't see them as a medical treatment but as an hour-long vacation from life, as a soother. Ahhhh.....let the massage relax you, lock that sensation into your memory bank as a neurotransmitter to return to when you start your guided imagery healing.

    You are correct to be concerned about healing modalities and TMS-healing, they are often incongruent paths.

    If your pain has spiked that means the source of your effect is close to the surface. You could very well be doing the right things and winning, so your pain must rise to meet it. TMS is all about stimulation. Your mindbody is over stimulated. Do you know what I mean? Your nervous system is on high alert which tasks your ANS into disregulation. So, your life right now is off balance as determined by the need for the distraction.

    Soothe yourself more to counter your spasms, with music, comedies, and things like ~~> massage. Do these without guilt.

    zclesa and Lavender like this.
  6. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Thanks Steve! I really appreciate your reply. I pray that i am almost at a breakthrough with the pain & it will soon subside. I know I am on high alert all the time. The pain is controlling me. I will hopefully get a massage to relax not for a cure. I might have to wait until I feel like I have it under control. I read your book last fall & refer to it for help/inspiration. I think I am trying to rush to be healed because I am desperate to live again. I just am trying to stay strong & avoid another injection. I want to write my success story.
  7. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Mousemom your very detail oriented and smart to ask these questions
    it means you want to get things right.
    your on the right track even if it doesn't feel like it.
    as steve said above it could very well be the conflict trying to come to surface.
    and as steve and plum mentioned the massage will be fine
    its good you described your intent so good

    Your questions are very important to understand the healing process
    with it not being linear at all it can become confusing when the pain isn't subsiding
    its your will to win and the heart to keep fighting with love and hope
    letting go of past and future anger and fear mixes with a lot of acceptance
    that will get you through this as the days turn into weeks.

    It took me a full 6 months before I could say I was 100%
    but I began to feel bumps of healing and small advancements
    within 3-4 months.

    its been over a year for me now and every once in a while
    if I get really tensed ill feel it somewhere in my body

    Not the debilitating pain I was having, just a reminder to keep
    letting anger go and stop fearing whatever it is I might have a fear of.

    I hope this helps, your winning
    I know it might not feel like it

    Your not giving up and you make sure your doing things right
    that's a super plus for your recovery.

    Im wishing you the Best mousemom- You will get that success story
  8. Endless luke

    Endless luke Well known member

    I'd think you'd want to skip the massage because you are doing it as a part of a belief system that you need to address this on a physical level.
  9. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Mousemom, I'm in favor of the massage, as Steve and Herbie and others suggest.
    Not looking for it as a cure but as a relaxant.

    When I was a rewrite man on the city desk at the Chicago Tribune, one of the
    most stressful jobs ever created, the editor in charge of the city desk used to spend
    his lunch hour getting a massage at the hotel next door to Tribune Tower.
    He said he could never get through a day without it.

    I've had a few massages and they really are great. They soothe the tensions away,
    physically and emotionally. But they aren't a permanent cure for pain.
    That takes TMS work, and you know how to do that.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  10. Lori

    Lori Well known member

    When I had bad back and butt pain, I got massages in that area and the pain went away--for about 15 minutes. Since it came back I knew massage wasn't the answer. Then I learned about Dr. Sarno.

    I do love a good massage just because it feels good. I've gotten them occasionally for years.

    It's up to you how you view this--just because it feels good, or if you think it's helping you heal from TMS (it isn't). Healing comes from the inside--not the outside.

    Best wishes!
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  11. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Always always always get a massage, in all ways. They have nothing to do with opposing TMS healing. They are a pleasure in life that only adds value, through soothing, and the most neglected need of connection, which is the human touch. No one has ever been harmed or setback in healing by receiving one. However, if you depend on them for healing you will be disappointed. They serve to pull the SNS from gridlock and tension. But the tension will keep returning as with meditation and breathing techniques if the psychological conflict remains.

    Groddeck was one of the greatest healers of all time. He gave up his medical license to heal more people by going to massage therapy and psychoanalysis. Bob Hope got a massage every day of his adult life and he lived to be a hundred. The very essence of human touch has healing powers within it, through connection, and the release of chemicals and cortisol suppressants.

    Like a bathroom, never pass by a massage if you can get one.
  12. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    What if you do not know what the conflict is? Please, help.
  13. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    I think you do know what the conflict is. But if it's too emotionally painful, or taboo, or unthinkable, then you can't allow it to surface, thus the physical symptoms. It wants to be let go, but the TMS stops it in its tracks.

    You don't have to know what "the" thing is that is causing your pain, or unpleasant symptoms. Over the past 12 years I've seen people get worse by trying to find the magic healing bullet. But it doesn't usually work. And--if you read the new Foreword that Dr. Sarno wrote, he said it was "fruitless" to try to make the unconscious become conscious.

    So, I tell people to look at your current life, and to forget the past for now. Your past is what got you here, it formed your personality, and how you respond to stress in your adult life. But it's gone, temporally. So you have a certain Type T persona, and your current life has you under the gun. As I wrote, I believe it is all about relationship. Check your current relationships, and let go of the past ones. Your TMS is there due to some fragmenting of a relationships, or relationships.

    TMS occurs because of a reaction. Your physical body is reacting to something. If your body didn't react, then you wouldn't have any symptoms. But the presence of TMS shows that your body is responding. The response is to over stimulation. Most people can recognize a physical reaction to stress, and tension from stress. But they usually aren't aware of "how much" they are responding due to repression and ego. The ego covertly hides how much things are bothering us. The ego is also the thing that causes the reaction, or response. If we placed no attachment to the criticisms or rejections, in relationship, there would be no TMS. The ego is the thing that causes the over reaction.

    So you have TMS because you are reacting to life. How you are reacting is how you learned to react as a child. You can change all that through letting go. Letting go is a book in itself, with many ways, and many takes. Healing is a personal thing, in that, no one can show you how to forgive, or to have faith or belief. No one person can tell someone how to have courage and strength. Those things come through personal revelations within the self. This struggle you go through to gain peace inside is life itself. This is what life is all about, the overcoming of fear and darkness through personal struggle. You don't want to jump to the end, you want to live each day turning the pages slowly, growing.

    But, there are core concepts that we all can follow. Let go, laugh more, help others, stay physically active, and socially engaged, live with a purpose, stick with a daily transparent act, never think of the body, see light where darkness exists, and BELIEVE you will be ok.

    G.R. likes this.
  14. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Steve, your reply here is so right, so "right on," I am going to print it out and read it every day.
    I urge everyone in our TMSWiki family to do the same.

    Before I read it this afternoon I did something that I rarely do. I shouted at someone (not a relative or even a
    close but casual friend) and told him he didn't appreciate me, all the time and effort I've done for them.

    I don't want to go into detail about it here, but it is something I had repressed for a long time about this person.
    I finally had it today and as I could see how he did not appreciate my efforts on his behalf, I told him so.

    I have stopped being the nice guy doing favors for him and feel a great relief.

    I remember the words of Abraham Lincoln about not being able to please some of the people. If we try to please
    everyone all the time, we get TMS. That reminds me of how I tried to please my mother and it led to guilt and
    back pain. I forgave her and myself and the pain went away.

    I feel a new sense of release today.
  15. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    What a powerful answer!!! I will read your answer many times to digest it.
    Thank You
  16. Marla

    Marla Peer Supporter

    I know you wrote this 7 years ago but I am having major issues with my 92 yr old mother who after months of my doing everything I can to make sure she gets deliveries, then sent her flowers, chocolates, balloons for bday last week and mums day card special one I bought in Ireland for her last summer...shamed me in front of my kids during zoom session yesterday. I am trying to forgive her, god knows I am far from perfect but I have been spending years trying to get closer to my daughters and having her shame me in front of them sent my rage levels high, then guilt levels high because of how old she is. I still don’t know why after all I have done and we have been getting along fine for over a year, she choose Mother’s Day to attack me out of no where. She is one of those sharp as a tack elders so I don’t think it’s dementia. I have been dealing with sciatica and hip pain last two weeks a flare up and this made it worse. I have been listening to Dan’s Pain Free videos and agree its the conflict that causes the problems. I had to swallow a attack back at her. I journaled for a long time but still having hard time forgiving. I want to tell her how I feel but my mom likes to twist things deny my reality and say sweetly I didn’t mean anything by that when I know darn well my whole life she does! And she knows my kids will be on her side because she only shows her true colors to me, my brother and her best friend my aunt. My aunt died few years back, my brother broke off with her ten yrs ago because of how she treated him so now I am only one who sees that side of sweet gramma!

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