I've been hanging around here for a few weeks and am picking today, my 53rd Birthday, to make the commitment to do the SEP for real. I just did the activities and made notes, started an evidence sheet, etc. This is what I wrote for the "question to ponder": What would a life without TMS mean to you? I read this question about a week ago and immediately my pain increased (This is definitely going on my evidence list for an argument for TMS). Although I hate the pain, it is very familiar. For so long my life has revolved around the pain. It is actually quite terrifying, the thought of being without it. Just one example, I know that I use my pain as an excuse for not going places. If I felt well, I don't know if I would actually want to go? Or if I still wouldn't want to go places? I'm an extreme introvert and am usually quite content to just be with my husband. I also don't know that I trust myself that if I didn't have pain I wouldn't start working myself too hard again. I was so achievement oriented before the pain (Ph.D., 4 published books, active counseling practice, etc....) , and the pain definitely slowed me down. I don't trust myself. That is one of my goals – I want to learn to protect the "inner child" who doesn't want to be overworked and who wants to have time for fun and relaxation. This is a great group of people on this forum. As an example of my personality, I feel guilty posting because I know someone is going to take the time to reply to me. People have already written such helpful responses. I have to tell myself that I deserve healing and try not to feel guilty.