It's been several days since I really sat down to do a Structured Ed Program day. So, I've been on Day 10 for several days now. I can just hear a part of myself that is very serious, very studious, say, "you've very behind. You should have been much further along by now." This part of me wears very thick glasses with big plastic frames, just like I did in the 3rd grade. Back then, I had the feeling that I had better grow up really fast. I don't know why that's what I thought and felt, but that was how it was. So, now there's little Miss Glasses who thinks that I'm way behind on my Structured Ed Program. She's getting support and validation from the pain that I'm experiencing in my lower back, left side. Ouch. She's wagging her finger at me and saying, "see what happens when you don't do your work?" One of the things I feel most helpless about is my mind. I think that I have mostly accepted that there's nothing wrong with my body. But I feel that there is something wrong with my mind, and I feel that my mind is trying to cause me pain, trying to hurt me. It gives me a feeling of being at war with myself and not trusting myself. It also makes me feel like I don't know whether this pain will ever go away, because I feel that my mind wants me to bleed. Words of encouragement and your experiences would be greatly appreciated.